Move Things Comic Strips - Page 17

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540 Results for Move Things

View 161 - 170 results for move things comic strips. Discover the best "Move Things" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #staying real, #keeping to core, #good, #duuude, #say thing, #no meaning

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A male employee says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, my man, you're stayin' real and keepin' to the core." Dilbert asks, "Is that good?" The employee says, "I don't even know what it means." Dilbert asks, "Why do you say things that have no meaning?" The employee answers, "Du-u-u-de!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #hard work, #signing praises, #then die, #reality, #inspirational speeches

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "If you work hard, you can achieve great things!" The Boss says, "And then you die." Wally, Dilbert and Alice weep as The Boss says, "It never pays to mix reality with inspirational speeches."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock analyst, #good things, #company, #weasels, #business

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Dogbert: your stock will rise if a stock analyst says good things about your company. The Boss: how is that even possible? Dogbert: one word: weasels. weasels: I just found my new pick and shovel core holding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #greedy boss, #huge growth earnings, #mean boss, #miss growth, #poised, #stock options vest, #unrelated move, #leave company

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Our CEO says we are poised for huge growth in earnings." The Boss continues, "In an unrelated move, he announced that he will leave the company before any of his stock options vest." Wally and Dilbert look horrified and their ties fly up in front of their faces as The Boss says, "The poor guy will miss all of our growth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #achieve goal, #analyze incoming email, #automate, #excellent plan, #online tech, #software, #throw rocks, #useful repsonse, #wear ski masks, #sarcas, #supportiveness, #engineering

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I have an idea!" The Boss continues, "We'll automate our online tech support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our software will analyze incoming e-mail and send responses based on key words!" Dilbert, his tie flying up, says to The Boss, "That's an excellent plan." The Boss responds, "I know." Dilbert says, "But what about the one percent of our customers who actually get a useful response?" Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe we could wear ski masks and throw rocks at their houses." Dilbert says, "Then we could achieve our goal of 100% customer dissatisfaction! Whoo hoo!" Dilbert throws his arms up in the air as The Boss watches him. Dilbert thinks to himself, "Maybe I should work someplace where sarcasm and supportiveness are different things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #afraid of change, #operation, #someone listened to you, #gender change, #move to china

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Wally and a male co-worker are listening to The Boss. The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change." The Boss listens as the male co-worker stands up and says, "You're right! I'm going to get a gender change operation and move to China!" Wally says to The Boss, "I've always wondered what would happen if someone listened to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #downsized, #job functions, #unimportant things, #outsourced

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The boss approaches Dilbert and says, "I downsized Ted and outsourced his important job functions." The boss continues, "I'd like you to do all of his unimportant job functions." Dilbert asks, "Why do we do unimportant things?" The boss says, "Because we can!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #terrific conversationalit, #write code, #while you complain, #embraced, #date, #end of date, #kiss good night, #hug, #mean things, #said

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Dilbert is dropping his date off after a date. She says, "Thanks for taking me to dinner. You're a terrific conversationalist." Noriko and Dilbert embrace as Dilbert says, "With you, it's easy." They are about to kiss when Dilbert continues, "I discovered that I can write code in my head as you complain about your job all night."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #new things to say, #fill airtime, #let other people talk

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Dilbert and Wally stand having coffee. Wally says, "I'm running out of new things to say." Wally continues, "I'll have to start repeating myself just to fill the airtime." Dilbert replies, "You could let other people talk." Wally continues, "So, anyway, I'm running out of new things to say."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #marketing acronyms, #wrong ones, #different meaning, #o.r.d>, #b.g.g., #q.r.b., #doesn't require nudity

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Asok the Intern sits at the conference table between the Boss and Dilbert. Asok says, "Per marketing's request, I did an O.R.D. for the B.G.G. that resulted in a Q.R.B." Dilbert and Alice listen as Asok continues, "Then I discovered that marketing uses those acronyms for different things." Asok says, "Their version doesn't require nudity, just to pick one example." The Boss puts his hands to his face in frustration.