Payroll Expenses Low Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

228 Results for Payroll Expenses Low

View 161 - 170 results for payroll expenses low comic strips. Discover the best "Payroll Expenses Low" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confession, #schedule, #calendar, #lazy, #self-esteem, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "For the past five years I've managed your calendar based solely on what would create the least work for me." Carol says, "It all started when you told me to use my judgment to set priorities." Carol says, "In retrospect, you should have hired someone with low self-esteem."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales bonus level, #happy, #smile, #employee, #salesman, #too low

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ken, you've almost reached your sales bonus level with time to spare." The Boss says, "Obviously I set your bonus threshold too low. I'll need to adjust it upward retroactively." Ken says, "Maybe I'm just a great salesperson!" The Boss says, "That's the spirit! Stay hungry!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friend matrix, #coworker, #sit at computer, #computer expert, #frisky friend, #low standards

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "I'm updating my friend resource matrix and I have a few gaps." Coworker says, "I already have a friend with a truck, a friend who gives me free tickets, and a friend with tools." Coworker says, "I've got openings for a computer expert friend and a frisky friend with low standards." Dilbert says, "I'll try the computer one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #class, #expenses, #money, #options, #fire, #stupid, #dog, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need this class to update my skills. Will you approve the expense?" The Boss says, "Where's the analysis of alternatives?" Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "When you ask for funding, you need to tell me what my options are." Dilbert says, "Well, okay. That seems logical." Dilbert says, "Option two. Do nothing while I become increasingly unqualified for my job." Dilbert says, "Option three: replace me with someone younger who earns less than I do and already has the skills." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Options are only good when other people don't have them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #losers, #meetings, #sales personnel, #sell to customers, #winners sell, #low quota levels, #ch ching dance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #charged project, #accountants, #arsenic based life forms, #natural enemy

View Transcript

Transcript

Accounting Dilbert says, "You charged my project for expenses that aren't mine." Finance Troll says, "Let me see that." Finance Troll says, "We accountants are arsenic-based life forms. That makes you my natural enemy." Dilbert says, "That is not logical." Finance Troll says, "Live long and phospher."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hold press conference, #introduce cold fusion, #breakthrough, #lightbulb, #wires plugged, #low opinion, #jar with frosted glass, #overkill

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #health insurance, #reduce expenses, #radiation dosimeters, #wrongness, #policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company is trying to reduce expenses, so you need to pay for your own radiation dosimeters. Dilbert: We'll just stare at you until you understand the wrongness of that policy. Boss: Still nothing. One hour later

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #recessions, #unemployment, #fix your lips, #job satisfaction, #all time low

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Oh no! Employee job satisfaction is at an all-time low at the same time unemployment is high! Boss: Ha ha! Good one. Now it's my turn to try saying it as if I care! Oh no! Catbert: Ha ha! Fix your lips!