Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 17

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View 161 - 170 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags million dollars, ten thousand, separate business cards, value added support

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You need a million dollars but I only have authority to sign for up to ten thousand." The Boss says, "Break it into a hundred separate business cases." Dilbert says, "Thank you for your value-added management support." The Boss replies, "It was nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags one hundred business cases, level of approval

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Dilbert carries a stack of documents. He tells the Boss, "Per your instructions, my request for a million dollars has been broken into one hundred business cases." Dilbert continues, "Each one is for ten thousand dollars, which is your exact level of approval authority." The Boss says, "I meant I can approve anything UNDER ten thousand dollars . . . So if you wouldn't mind . . ." Dilbert replies, "Killing you? No, I wouldn't mind a bit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buying car, touch negotiator, suggested retail price, invisible spary, scurvy, tax audits, airbag, gravel, lease terms, engraved, hood ornamnet

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The caption says, "Buying a car." Dilbert sits across from a car salesman's desk. The salesman says, "You're one tough negotiator." Dilbert replies, "Thanks." The salesman says, "It only took you four hours to get me all the way down to the manufacturer's suggested retail price." The salesman cries, "There's no profit left!! My family will go hungry!!" The man bawls. The salesman stops crying and says, "Sorry. I assume you want the rust inhibitor coating for only $500." Dilbert replies, "Um . . .Yeah. Rust is bad." The man jumps up and shouts, "Yes!! Ka-ching ka-ching!" The salesman says, "Sorry. We also have an invisible spray that protects against scurvy and tax audits." Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Okay." The salesman says, "Initial here if you want your airbag to be full of fresh aspen air instead of gravel." Dilbert reads the contract and says, "Only $600." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "And the lease terms are engraved on this free hood ornament!" Dogbert replies, "Be glad they didn't install it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business like christianity, faithful and obidient, obtain bliss, afterlife, reincarnation model, higher level employment, bio degrade, become wd40, dinosuar

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Bob the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "Businesses used to be like Christianity; if you were faithful and obedient, you could obtain bliss in the afterlife of retirement." Dogbert continues, "Now it's more of a reincarnation model. If the worker learns enough in his current job, he can progress to a higher level of employment elsewhere." Dogbert continues, "These analogies aren't working for you, are they, Bob?" Bob replies, "My hope is that one day I will biodegrade and become 'WD-40' oil."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags combine words, ecosystem, engagement manger, ratbert, seem smart, walmart

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Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I'm going back into the consulting business and I need you to be my engagement manager." Dogbert continues, "You'll seem very smart if you randomly combine the words on this list and make many references to 'Wal-Mart.'" Ratbert sits at a conference table with Dilbert and the Boss. Ratbert says, "It's like 'Wal-Mart.' Migrate your value into the white spaces of the ecosystem." The Boss says, "Wow! That's one smart rat!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business startegy, example, good strategy, learn, panty hose, ratbert the consultant, walmarts

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Alice, Ratbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "'Wal-Mart's' business strategy was very successful. You can learn from their example." Alice asks, "Does their strategy involve sitting around and making irrelevant comparisons to other companies?" Ratbert replies, "All I know for sure is that they don't let rats try on all the pantyhose in the store." Wally says, "Good strategy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reduce expenses, essentail jobs, business cards, borrow some

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In order to reduce expenses, only the employees in essential jobs may have business cards." Wally, Dilbert and Alice think, "I'd better order some business cards to find out if I'm 'essential.'" The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, order some new business cards for me." Carol replies, "Ooh. No can do. But you can borrow some of mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bitter secreatry, brain creates idea., business idea, creates words, delivered, life cycle, proactive synergy, words on paper

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The strip is titled, "Dogbert presents the life cycle of a business idea." The caption says, "The brain creates an idea." Asok, Wally, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Asok dreams about a woman. The caption says, "The mouth - operating independently of the brain - creates words." Asok says, "Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams." The caption says, "The words are written on large paper." Dilbert writes, "Let's form synergy," on an easel pad. He thinks, "Idiot." The caption says, "The large paper is delivered to a bitter secretary." Dilbert hands Carol the paper and says, "Please?" Carol growls. The caption says, "The secretary types it." Carol types, "Let's . . . form . . . protein . . . symphony reactionary . . . teens." She thinks, "Close enough." The caption says, "The typed notes are delivered to the staff." Someone hands Wally a copy of the notes. He points to the wastebasket and says, "Drop it in the 'to do basket.'" The caption says, "Repeat." Asok sits at his desk dreaming about a woman.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, life insurance policy, pay premiums, collect insurance, valuable, company, don't like cats, business

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Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business plan, disarray, free time, deliverables, joy, perverse sources, Alternative

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Wally tells Dilbert, "Good news! Our business plan is in complete disarray!" Wally shouts, "Free time!! No deliverables!!! And it's not OUR fault!" Dilbert shouts, "Yippee!!" They celebrate. Dilbert asks, "Do you realize that all our joy comes from perverse sources?" Wally replies, "I didn't know there was an alternative."