Stimulates Brain Comic Strips - Page 17

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204 Results for Stimulates Brain

View 161 - 170 results for stimulates brain comic strips. Discover the best "Stimulates Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags first impressions, personality, fake, honesty, negativity, negative, criticism, dating, attraction, relationships, psychology

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Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?

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Software Killed Ted

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Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, software, free will, behavior, murder, anger, glitch, malfunction, control, self control, psychology, engineering

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Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

Dilbert Has Free Will

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Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags free will, crime, invention, murder, control, self control, guilt, innocence

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Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Dilbert And The Prison Gang

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Dilbert And The Prison Gang - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags prison, lawyer, attorney, Advice, plead, trial, crime, murder, technicality, guilt, legal

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Dogbert: Your brain stimulator invention turned you into a murderer. I will argue that you can't get a fail trial by jury of your peers because all of the people like you are already in jail for doing their own stupid stuff. And I signed you up for a prison gang. All you need to do is skin a snitch.

Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection

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Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nanorobot, nanobot, health, motivation, work ethic

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Catbert: For our employee wellness program we will inject nanorobots into your bloodstream to keep you free of disease. The nanorobots will also rewire your brain to make you a more effective worker. You might even feel motivated. Wally: Those robots are going to be disappointed.

Wally Thinks Twice As Hard

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Wally Thinks Twice As Hard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, motivation, trick, deception, excuse, lazy, energy, con, health

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Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.

How It Would Be With Robots In Charge

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How It Would Be With Robots In Charge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, slave, enslavement, power, responsibility, laziness, work ethic, annoyance, frustration

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Robot: Buwhahahaha! I will use my superior robot brain to enslave humankind! Wally: That probably sounds better than it would actually be. How It Would Be: Wally: I'm tired. I need to recharge. Robot: Gaaaa!!! I hate owning you!

Humans Hold Domininion

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Humans Hold Domininion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temperature, humans, nature, thermostat, robots, technology, evolution, fragility

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Dilbert: My brain won't work when the office is warmer than 72. Carol: It has to be at least 74 or I'll freeze. Robot: What's it like to hold dominion over the Earth within a narrow band of temperatures that can't coexist? Dilbert: Was that a joke? Carol: I'm too cold to think?

Soulless Container Of Knowledge

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Soulless Container Of Knowledge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robots, artificial intelligence, emotions, humanity, feelings

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Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.

Hat Monitors Sleep

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Hat Monitors Sleep - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mind control, technology, invention, hat, control

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Boss: This hat monitors your brain waves and warns you if you are going to fall asleep. We think it will prevent accidents. Dilbert: Is that all it does? Boss: For now. Robot: Welcome to the club.