Views Of Management Comic Strips - Page 17

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View 161 - 170 results for views of management comic strips. Discover the best "Views Of Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trends are positive, #crushing debt, #moronic management, #aging product line

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Tina writes the Annual Report All trends are positive. Footnote 5: Unless you consider our crushing debt, moronic management, and aging product line. "What font is this? It's so tiny." "Enron Beelzebub."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pension fund, #solevent, #workplace safety, #ceo, #smoking is cool

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"Management is pleased to announce that it has a plan to make your pension fun solvent." "In unrelated news, the guidelines for workplace safety have been relaxed." "Our CEO reminds you that smoking is cool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #double fees, #management consulting, #outsourcing job, #india, #double fee

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I found a way to double my management consulting fees. "I recommend outsourcing your job to India." "I'll double your fee if you never say that again." WAG!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human rescources, #disgruntled, #bad management, #commute, #rationalizer, #employee, #commute is easy

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Ed, you seem disgruntled." "You need 30 minutes in the Employee Rationalizer." "I...I...don't mind bad management because...the commute is easy." "Better."

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What does MFU2 mean on your timeline? "That's Management Foul-Up number two. It usually happens around the third week." "We don't anticipate any management mistakes." "That's MFU1."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Certified Project Management Zombie "Let's review our assumptions, risks, and constraints." "Your project management style is putting my joi de vivre at risk." "It's funny because I don't have any."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I heard that you're a certified project management zombie. Is that true?" "I'm an assertive and innovative professional, experienced in project and operations management methodology and process development." "He didn't seem dangerous." "I just sat through a three-hour project review meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #hierarchy, #invisible, #managers, #status, #underling, #steering committee, #tall memebers, #senior menagement, #acknowledge exitence

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"Asok, I want you to attend the technology steering committee for me." "But they are all tall members of senior management. They won't even acknowledge my existence." "Phfft." "Hey, Andy, this seat is free. I'll just move my coffee."

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Your management performance has been abysmal. I'm afraid I have to minimize you. "Minimize? Is that like downsize?" "Downsizing is only for non-managers." "Abysmal managers get minimized. Follow me." "Your new office is the size of a refrigerator crisper." "You will have no direct reports and your job title will be 'Director of Unnecessary and Special Projects.'" "Can I ever be maximized?" "Maybe if some other manager jumps off the roof." "You're right - the view up here is spectacular!"

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"You're always complaining about the management of your company so I decided to do something about it." "I used my billions to buy your company!" "You're going to fix management?" "No, I just wanted to stop all the whining. You're fired."