Worked Less Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

398 Results for Worked Less

View 161 - 170 results for worked less comic strips. Discover the best "Worked Less" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #p/u ratio, #sky rocketing, #productivity, #useful, #mistake, #distarction, #backwards

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your P/U ratio is skyrocketing again." "My what?" "Productivity-to-usefulness. It means you produce a lot, but everything you produce is a mistake or a distraction." "I told you last time to do less work!" "Oooh... I did that backwards."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #extra luck, #less available, #albert einstein, #hero, #critic of war, #jeffrey dahmer, #lottery win

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have a job interview. Wish me luck." "No." "If you get extra luck then there might be less available for me." "I don't think it works that way." "I can't take that chance." "Tell me, Dilbert, who would you consider your hero?" "Albert Einstein." "That should be safe." "Oh, really? He was an outspoken critic of war. We design missle guidance systems." "How about Jeffrey Dahmer? No?" "I won the lottery!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nothing to fear, #reorganization, #fear itself, #dont think

View Transcript

Transcript

"This department has nothing to fear about the reorganization but fear itself." "Don't think about it... don't thik about it." "Okay, I'm pretty sure that that doesn't mean anything." "Dang." "Maybe less."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #selling stuff, #customer, #can't pay, #sociopath

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Today I got a bonus for selling stuff to a customer who probably can't pay." Dogbert: "Does your soda taste any less delicious?" Dilbert: "No." Dogbert: "Congratulations, you're a sociopath." Dilbert: "It feels kinda good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing campiagn, #free samples, #worked, #decline, #intelligence, #conclusion, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worlds greatest intern, #plagues, #bought plague, #less prominent placement, #alice called it

View Transcript

Transcript

ASOK: "Alice, you are looking at the newest member of "the world's greatest interns." Alice: "That's a scam to convince gullible interns to buy overpriced wall plaques." Asok: "I'll be displaying you less prominently than we had discussed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projects budget, #ten percent, #no thinking, #picke dnumber, #cutting hours worked, #36 hours, #affect result

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I have to cut your project's budget by ten percent. Dilbert: "Ten percent??" dilebrt: "That's the sort of round number you would pick if you did no thinking whatsoever." The boss: "Anything can be cut by ten percent without affecting the result." Dilbert: "Cool! I'm cutting back to 36 hours per week!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #batch of tiger meat, #project, #chanllenging, #delight stockholders, #not challenging, #less motivated

View Transcript

Transcript

"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fresh cauliflower, #sleep, #operation oiwrked, #reminds me, #anesthesia, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

"First I'll saw open your head. Then I'll replace your faulty brain with a fresh cauliflower." "How do I know you won't put me to sleep, eat the cauliflower and claim the operation worked?" "That reminds me: your insurance doesn't cover anesthesia."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #raises, #percentage raises, #dont discuss, #humilaiting, #low raises, #wages, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

"Please don't discuss your raise with co-workers." "Whatever." "Let's see how the losers and morons did." "You only got 6%? I got 8%." "9%. Why do you ask?" "7.5%. Anything less would be humiliating." "Well, let me see...I think it was..." "Brace for impact." "8.5%" "GAAA!!" "Has she yet learned why it is a bad idea to discuss her raise with co-workers?" "Sounds like it."