2017 Comic Strips - Page 17
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Character
Saturday June 10,
2017
Dilbert Tries To Get Funding
Tags budget, money, spending, projects, upgrades, technology, software, engineering
Transcript
Man: Who are you? Dilbert: I'm an engineer on an unfunded project. I'm attending random meetings to see if I can shake loose some spare budget money. Man: We'll be talking about the mandatory software upgrade. Dilbert: Sounds like a huge waste of money.
Sunday June 11,
2017
Tags failure, power, interns, roadblock
Transcript
Boss: You'll need to get buy-in from the other departments. Asok: You have given me an impossible task. I am only an intern. No one will agree to anything I ask because I have no power to hurt them. Most department heads won't even schedule a meeting with me. And if they do, they will end up canceling it at the last minute and rescheduling. There is literally no way for me to succeed at this task. Boss: I also need you to ask them to fund your project out of their budgets.
Monday June 12,
2017
Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo
Tags presentation, public speaking, nervous, anxious, fear
Transcript
Asok: I'm nervous because I need to make a presentation to our CEO. Do you have any advice? Wally: Don't make eye contact with him. He hates that. Asok: You have made things far worse! Wally: He also flies into a rage when he hears the word "the."
Tuesday June 13,
2017
One Small Mistake Is Doom
Tags nervous, Advice, fear, anxiety, public speaking, presentation
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.
Wednesday June 14,
2017
Imagine He Is Naked
Tags public speaking, presentation, Advice, nervous, naked, fear
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.
Thursday June 15,
2017
Alice Helps Asok With Slides
Tags presentation, public speaking, powerpoint, slide, Advice, speech
Transcript
Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.
Friday June 16,
2017
75 Slides Too Long
Tags public speaking, presentation, length, brevity, powerpoint
Transcript
Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.
Saturday June 17,
2017
Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation
Tags presentation, public speaking, powerpoint
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.
Sunday June 18,
2017
Tags work ethic, laziness, group project
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to thank each member of the product team for the successful launch. Dilbert wrote the software. Alice designed the hardware. And Wally... um... Wally: Attended most of the meetings. Boss: That's all you did? Wally: I also played devil's advocate. Dilbert: You didn't say a word during our meetings for seven months. Wally: That's because you were doing everything right. Boss: Did you really do nothing for seven months? Wally: This is one of those "less is more" situations.
Monday June 19,
2017
Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos
Tags accusation, hearsay, conjecture, gullible
Transcript
Man: I hear Dilbert's project is in total chaos. Boss: That has to be true because I heard it from three other people. Man: And that's why I told three other people.


