Asok Comic Strips - Page 17

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964 Results for Asok

View 161 - 170 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hard Work Is Necessary For Success

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Hard Work Is Necessary For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, misunderstanding, motivation, hard work, Advice, brainwash

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Wally: Remember, Asok, success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok: Got it! I will work hard and sacrifice! Wally: I was going to say that's why you should avoid success. Who brainwashed you?

Attendance Strategy

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Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, attendance, Advice, mentor, mentoring

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Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

Four Hour Meeting

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Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, decisions, meeting, meetings, productivity, time, time management, business

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Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.

El Gato Leadership

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El Gato Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags kissing up, brown nosing, delegate, wisdom, idiocy, leadership

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CEO: Remember, intern, you can't spell delegate without some of the letters of "El Gato." Asok: Your saying is ridiculous and yet I find it compelling because it came from a leader. CEO: No, it is I who have learned the most from your ignorance. Asok: That is so wise!

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, jokes, joking, assume, assumptions, offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, distractions, frustration, futility, meeting, meetings, stress, walk, walking, phone calls, email, Sports, business

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Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoy people, frustration, packaging, product design, sadism, software, torture, product code, engineering

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!

Pipe Down, Coffee Intern

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Pipe Down, Coffee Intern - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags board meeting, change, coffee, demotion, ego, ideas, Promotion, intern, new ideas

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Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.

Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey

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Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assistant, caffeine, coffee, croney, lackey, Promotion, vice president, upper body strength

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Asok: Now that you are a vice president, may I apply to be your lackey? Wally: If I'm being honest, Asok, I need someone with more upper body strength to carry my coffee all day. Asok: Then I said, "A Vice President's coffee can't be that heavy."

Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice

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Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, experience, stock market, lost savings, past perfromance, further returns, money

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Asok: I followed your investment advice and lost all of my savings in the stock market. Boss: Did I mention that past performance is not an indication of future returns. Asok: Then... how does "advice" actually work? Boss: It only works for the people that give it.