Ceo Comic Strips - Page 17
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627 Results for Ceo
View 161 - 170 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 12,
2015
Tags executives, truth, honesty, protection, protected, shelter
Transcript
Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.
Saturday July 11,
2015
Ceo Is Slave Owner
Tags slave, slaves, slavery, buying, pay, wages, housework, house servant, maid, maids, help, money
Transcript
Wally: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: No, nothing like that. All I did was buy some Elbonians on the Internet. Wally: Do they clean your house without pay? CEO: I assume they're a tidy people.
Friday July 10,
2015
Ceo Buys People On The Internet
Tags book, internet, friends, struggle, buying friends, fake, technology
Transcript
CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.
Tuesday June 16,
2015
Click Rate On Death Alerts
Tags advertising, technology, analytics, smart watch, app, ad, click, clickbait, attention, distraction
Transcript
Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.
Thursday June 04,
2015
El Gato Leadership
Tags kissing up, brown nosing, delegate, wisdom, idiocy, leadership
Transcript
CEO: Remember, intern, you can't spell delegate without some of the letters of "El Gato." Asok: Your saying is ridiculous and yet I find it compelling because it came from a leader. CEO: No, it is I who have learned the most from your ignorance. Asok: That is so wise!
Wednesday June 03,
2015
Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert
Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals
Transcript
CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.
Tuesday June 02,
2015
Ceo Tosses Catbert
Tags executive, ceo, delegate, respoinsibilities, punishment
Transcript
CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!
Monday May 25,
2015
Only Masochist Would Live Here
Tags hiring, jobs, talent, masochist, masochism, expectations, work ethic, work environment
Transcript
CEO: Here's my list of the ten qualities I want in all new employees. Catbert: A person with all of these qualities would also need to be a masochist to work here. CEO: Write that in.
Friday April 24,
2015
Root Cause Is People
Tags problems, cause and effect, human error
Transcript
Dilbert: I found the root cause of our problems. It's people. They're buggy. Boss: Did you bring a pen?
Wednesday April 15,
2015
Wally Is Employee Of The Year
Tags awards, cheating, deception, patent, catch-22, work ethic, laziness
Transcript
CEO: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for filing the most patents of any engineer in our history. Dilbert: How many have been granted? CEO: Well, most of them... I assume? Wally: How much coffee does this thing hold?


