Counting System Comic Strips - Page 17

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279 Results for Counting System

View 161 - 170 results for counting system comic strips. Discover the best "Counting System" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trolls, #hell, #payroll system, #automated sadistic, #phone system, #tech support, #complicated

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Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cpr on blob, #fire in break room, #sprinkler system, #water melketed, #witch melted

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The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #involuntary sepration, #payroll, #fired, #can't touch anything, #way of saying fired

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"Ted, you're going to experience an involuntary separation from payroll." "I'm fired." "No-o-o-o. It's just that you won't be part of the payroll system." "And you're not allowed to touch anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #new hire, #bottleneck, #bill, #titanium

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Bottleneck Bill Bottlkeneck Bill: All purchase orders must be approved by me. I'll be too busy to approve anything but at least we have the system. Its titanium. Nice try. Alice: GRRRRR

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #egos, #europe to denver, #lies, #made up, #management retreat, #middle management, #press release, #top

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Dilbert: I can't imagine you told everyone at the management retreat.... But our marketing department issued press release sago were designing a tunnel linking Europe to Denver. FLASHBACK Man: Im installing a new sprinkler system in my lawn. The boss: Must top.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new hire, #guy, #bothering workers, #love golf, #rain tomorrow, #plans, #sad paper body, #roll in salt, #scoring system

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Man: "I love golf. Golfing is fun. It's a good day to golf. Do you want to go golfing in the rain tomorrow at 6 A.M.?" Wally: "No, thanks. I have plans to sandpaper my entire body and roll around in salt." Man: "I hope no one ever creates a scoring system for that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet traffic, #good thing, #under sewage, #breathe through straw, #grateful, #sewer system

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Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #send broadband, #send data, #sewer system

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The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget request, #priority, #highest priority, #mockery, #low priority

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Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory online training, #system crashed, #retake training

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"You're the only one who hasn't finished the mandatory online six sigma training." "I finished it, but the system crashed before it stored my data." "This is when you say, 'There's no need to retake the training. I'll just check off your name.'" "Are you new on this planet?"