High Tech Device Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

373 Results for High Tech Device

View 161 - 170 results for high tech device comic strips. Discover the best "High Tech Device" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #tech analyiss, #second opinion, #look stupid, #whistling, #accident, #distribute

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Heres the technical analysis that you ask for, I don't understand any of it. I can't tell if its right or if it would envbrass me. I can't ask for a second opinion with out looking stupid, and I can't distribute it because it might be wrong, I'll out it on this pile and hope something changes. I wonder of its called whistling when only amor comes out, Carol: Should I shred your pile of indecision, The Boss: make it link like an accident.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #warning lables, #on donuts, #high calorie donuts, #will kill you, #tastes great, #choked to death

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The government says we have to put warning labels on our forty thousand calorie, shard -filled doughnuts prodcut. Dogbert: How about: warning! this product will kill you but thats okay because it tastes great! Police: It looks like he chocked on some sort of warning label.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #invent nanotech stem cells, #point to hand, #almost done, #prnak, #give high five, #crush them, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "My boss wants me to invent nano-technology stem cells because it sounds good." DOgbert: "Try pointing to your empty hand and saying, 'you can't see them but they're almost done!'" "Then trick him into giving you a high-five and yell, 'you crushed them! Aaag!!!'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #sexy project, #boost career, #sound good better job, #nano tech nology, #fighting terrorists

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I need to be managing a sexier project to boost my career. \it only has to sound good and not fail until I geta better job. How about a nanotechnology set cell for fighting terrorists? Dilbert: O-O-OKay.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #accounting, #expense figures, #base ten, #counting system, #full range, #odds and even, #hp printer ink, #finance troll

View Transcript

Transcript

"Accounting" "Can you explain these expense figures?" "It's a base ten accounting system with a full range of odd and even digits." "This isn't helping." "Tastes like hp printer ink... high gloss paper, four hours old."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2004's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #another company, #determine cause

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is Dogbert's tech support. Your problem is caused by another company's product or services." "Shouldnt I tell you my problem before you determine the cause?" "Okay, let's pretend that will change my answer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #trolls, #hell, #payroll system, #automated sadistic, #phone system, #tech support, #complicated

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #illusions of progress, #companys name, #hi tech sounding, #onomatopeoia, #duhflushtech, #lack of awareness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You need to change the company's name to create the illusion of progress." "The name should be hi-tech sounding with a hint of onomatopoeia that signals your total lack of awareness." "Maybe something like 'Duhflushtech, inc.'" "I like it!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #401k plan, #afterlife, #charisma, #evil director, #expected - value basis, #free software upagrdes, #high potential reward, #human resources, #math, #odds seem low, #reward you in aftrelife, #seventy versions, #education, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, the Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert: "Your 401K Retirement Plan will be replaced with a 401A plan." "The 'A' stands for afterlife." "You'll get no money in this life, but the company will reward you in the afterlife." Dilbert: "The odds of that happening seem low." CatBert: "Yes, but on an expected-value basis, a high potential reward compensates for low odds." "For example, how many free software upgrades would I need to promise you in the afterlife to make you work yourself to death this year?" Dilbert: "Seventy versions." "I resisted his charisma. But he got me with his math."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #heart and sould, #high speed data, #talent pool, #in charge, #mentor, #panicking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've put my heart and soul into the high-speed-data-by-sewer project. But I believe in developing outr talent pool, SO I recommend putting Asok in charge if the project, I will be his mentor, AsoK; wow! what should I do first? Wally: I wouldn't rule out panicking.