More Imprtant Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

955 Results for More Imprtant

View 161 - 170 results for more imprtant comic strips. Discover the best "More Imprtant" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality, #work ethic, #shortcut, #laziness, #defective, #awards, #engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #inspiration, #entrepreneur, #risk, #irony, #catch-22, #creativity, #creative, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.

Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nanorobot, #nanobot, #health, #motivation, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: For our employee wellness program we will inject nanorobots into your bloodstream to keep you free of disease. The nanorobots will also rewire your brain to make you a more effective worker. You might even feel motivated. Wally: Those robots are going to be disappointed.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personality, #type, #introvert, #dominant, #submissive, #interpersonal, #relationship, #coworkers, #conflict, #argument, #competent, #magic, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: The reason we keep having conflicts is because of our personality types. You're an impulsive, dominant personality and I am more of a... Alice: Useless waste of space? Coworker: I was going to say I'm a reserved, introspective, people-pleaser. One personality type is not better than the another. We just see things differently. Alice: How do you explain the fact that I have never had a conflict with anyone who is competent. Coworker: Give me a minute to reflect on that. Alice: Let me know when you're done believing in magic.

Teeth Brushing Accident

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Teeth Brushing Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #criticism, #presentation, #stupid, #mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Are there any questions about my presentation? Alice: Yes. Did you brush your teeth too aggressively and accidentally stab yourself in the brain? Coworker: Can you be more specific? Alice: Frontal lobes?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tagline, #marketing, #advertising, #ad, #ads, #impossible, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need a tagline for our new product. It should be no more than three words. It should convey an emotion. And it should clearly explain everything the product does. Dilbert: In three words? Boss :I didn't say it would be easy. Nike accomplished all of that with "Just do it." Dilbert: Did they? Because that seems like a generic thing you can say in any situation. Boss: Just do it! Alice: How about "Keep doing it?" Is that one taken?

Manager Of The Year Award

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manager Of The Year Award - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attendance, #manager, #management, #laissez faire, #cause and effect, #award, #accolade

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.

Attendance Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #attendance, #Advice, #mentor, #mentoring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meditate, #meditation, #mindful, #mindfulness, #mbct, #stress, #trick, #laziness, #deception, #work ethic, #ruse, #nap, #napping

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?

Checking On Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Checking On Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #insult, #strategy, #managers, #underling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I researched the assumptions behind your strategy and discovered they are unfounded. So I guess that means you will be changing your strategy. Alice: Did it make a difference? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that he hates me more.