Three Months Comic Strips - Page 17

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View 161 - 170 results for three months comic strips. Discover the best "Three Months" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Alice, you did the work of three people this year and earned the highest raise in the department!" "3%" FOOM! "What made you all cumulo-nimbus?" "3%"

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Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."

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What are you going to wear to Ted's wedding? "Whatever comes up in the rotation." "Then she shrieked some nonsense about spending six months shopping for shoes and started to punch me."

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"Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Phil O'Dendron." "Phil is a potted plant. He'll sit in your cubicle all day while you try to work." "Does it talk?" "He has three stories that he repeats in an infinite loop." "He'll begin with his reasons for why you should use his tax guy." "Then he'll do a recap of recent reality TV shows." "And last but not least, 'The way we did it at my last job.'" sob "How do you plan to cut expenses?" "Well, performance bonuses are under control."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"You've had fifteen jobs in two months. How can I be sure you're not a job hopper?" "Maybe I change jobs a lot. And maybe I have gigantic rabbit ears. But does that make me a hopper?" "Okay, okay, you're hired." "I am so sick of this place!"

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Topper "I had to carry over three weeks of vacation." "That's nothing!" "I carried over so much time that they had to create a new month and name it after me!" "Shut your pie hole!" "It looks as if someone is having a bad topperuary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2006's comic on:


Tags #three week vacation, #leaving tomorrow, #vacation, #twice as good

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I'm back from my three-week vacation. "I didn't know you were gone." "Um...I meant I'm leaving tomorrow for my three-week vacation." "How was your vacation?" "Twice as good as I expected!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2006's comic on:


Tags #angelica jolie lips, #mp3 player, #must never soeak

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The Marketing Guru "Your mp3 player is large and scary, but I can fix that." "All it needs is a set of Angelina Jolie lips and everyone will love it." Six Months Later "We must never speak of this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2006's comic on:


Tags #assistant, #mood, #frustration, #ignore, #ignoring, #attitude, #psychology

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"Carol, I need some three-ring binders and a reservation for the conference room on Thursday." "I don't like the way you asked, so I'm going to make a phone call until you give up and leave." "Yeah, the big jerk is still standing there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2006's comic on:


Tags #project wombat, #project manager, #inviting me, #expertise, #knowledge of expertise

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Yesterday I had a great meeting about Project Wombat. "What?!" "I've been managing that project for six months! How can you have a meeting without inviting me?!!" "Have you noticed that meetings go smoother without any knowledge or expertise?" "Kinda."