Wild Guess Comic Strips - Page 17

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242 Results for Wild Guess

View 161 - 170 results for wild guess comic strips. Discover the best "Wild Guess" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #direction signs, #conference, #arrow, #pointing right, #need pointing left, #spooky, #flipped sign

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The Boss leans into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We have a problem." The Boss holds up a cutout arrow and says, "I ordered these direction signs for our conference tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow in front of him and says, "But they all point to the right. I need left arrows." The Boss asks, "Is it too late to change the site of the conference to match the arrows?" Dilbert thinks and says, "Well, that would put us in the middle of a lake." Dilbert continues, "I guess we could get a helicopter to built a deep- water platform hotel...by tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow and says, "Okay, but get to bids." He turns the arrow, and it now points to the left. He looks down and says, "What?" The Boss walks out of the cubicle carrying the arrow and staring at it. He says, "Spooky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally and boss, #no actual work, #excellent reviews, #make job helll, #moved cucbicle, #bathroom stall, #cubicle with door, #calls mother

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Wally sits in the Boss' office. The Boss says, "Wally, you haven't done any actual work in years, and yet we continue to pay you." Wally says, "Have I said thanks?" The Boss replies, "I'd fire you, but your performance reviews are all 'excellents." The Boss continues, "So, my plan is to make your job a living hell until you quit." Wally raises his fist and says, "You'll never win! My standards are lower than you can imagine!" The Boss says, "I'll start by moving you to a smaller cubicle." Wally crosses his arms and says, "Is that the best you got? Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally is in a bathroom stall on the phone. He says, "Mom, guess who got an office with a door!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise shorts, #got own room, #jumping jacks, #naked jumping jacks, #pack clothes, #sharing hotel room, #single occupancy, #scared dilbert

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Caption: Sharing a hotel room Dilbert sitting on bed. Wally stares at suitcase and says, "I forgot to pack my exercise shorts." Wally says, "I guess I can do my jumping jacks without clothes. It's just guys." Dilbert has surprised look on his face. Wally in bed under his blanket. Wally thinks, "Single occupancy isn't so hard to get."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #posterior, #fat ass, #chair, #prnak, #lied boss, #like goldfish, #big charis, #big ass

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Alice stands in front of the Boss' desk and says, "My posterior is growing to fit the size of my chair." The Boss asks, "Is that possible?" Alice replies, "Posteriors are like goldfish. They grow to the limit of their environment." The Boss replies, "That's ridiculous. I have the biggest chair. That would mean..." Alice quickly says, "Forget I brought it up. Well, back to work." Wally and Dilbert stand looking over the wall of a cubicle. Alice walks by and Dilbert asks, "Mission report?" Alice replies, "Success." Alice rubs her hands together and says, "The glue on his chair should be set by now." The Boss walks down the hall with his desk chair stuck to him. He thinks, "I guess this is why goldfishes don't use chairs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #famous serial killers, #database, #name, #weapon, #tattoo, #killer application

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Asok the intern is making a presentation. He points to the display projected from his laptop computer and says, "My new product is a database of famous serial killers." Asok says, "You can search the database by name, weapon, or tattoo." Alice frowns. Alice turns to Wally and says, "Let me guess, Wally: Six months ago our young intern asked you what the term 'killer application' meant." The Boss looks on.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #document, #on desk, #overdue, #last minute, #going home, #boss to dilbert, #wait until tomorrow, #sociopath, #spookily accurate

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Dilbert sits in his cubicle and looks at his watch. he thinks, "Time to go home. That means..." The Boss shows up and says, "Hi there." Dilbert thinks, "Right on schedule." Dilbert holds up his hand and says, "Wait. Let me guess why you're here." Dilbert says, "You want to discuss a document that's been on your desk for a month." Dilbert says, "It's something that could easily wait until tomorrow." He says, "But you'll insist that I handle it now, because you're a sociopath." The Boss says, "Wrong. I majored in anthropology." The Boss walks away and thinks, "But that was a spookily accurate guess about the document."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nobel prize, #garbage industry, #miss the smells, #paper plate

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Ratbert sits on a trash can and says to the garbage man, "Now that you've won the Nobel prize, I guess you'll leave the garbage industry." The garbage man says, "No." He says, "I'd miss the action. I'd miss the smells... the sights... the people..." Ratbert adds, "The rats." A woman in a bathrobe comes outside and says, "I accidentally threw out a paper plate last week. Would you look for it?" The garbage man whispers, "I'm kidding about the people part."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #go home early, #exempt employee, #unimportant document, #shuffle around, #quiet desparation

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Asok says, "I finished all my work. Can I go home early?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss explains, "You're an 'exempt' employee. That means you're exempt from having a life." Asok says, "I guess I could clench an unimportant document and shuffle around in quiet desperation." The Boss says, "That's the spirit!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogy police, #boss compared, #mink coat, #importance

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Asok goes to the Analogy Police. A sign on the door reads, "Open." Phil, ruler of Heck, sits behind a desk. Asok says, "My boss said I was as important as a mink is to a mink coat." Phil says, "That sounds fine to me." Asok says, "But the Mink dies." Phil says, "I guess you won't be leaving a full fifteen precent tip."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommunters, #eat anytime, #wild animals, #tranquilizer darts, #flatbed, #giant shoehorn

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A fat Alice looks in the refrigerator and thinks, "Telecommuters can eat any time they want, just like wild animals." Alice lies on the couch and thinks, "There's only one way they'll ever get me back in the cubicle." The Boss looks at a chart and says, "Here's the plan. You'll need tranquilizer darts, a flatbed truck, and giant shoehorn." Asok says, "No harpoon?"