1990 Comic Strips - Page 17

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lab rat, macaroni, cheese, good, host, sinister, paranoia

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A lab rat says to a scientist, "Doc, we have to talk." The rat continues, "Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese . . . At first I thought you were just being a good host." The rat continues, "But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister." The professor writes in his notebook, "Macaroni and cheese causes paranoia."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, susceptible, peer, pressure, brewski, rats, beer, hurting, animals, doctor

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A scientist points to a cage and says, "Here we have a lab rat, specially bred to be susceptible to peer pressure." The scientist holds out a beer and asks the rat, "How about a brewski?" The rat replies, "I don't drink." The scientist says, "All the cool rats drink beer." The rat replies, "Okay." The professor says, "Of course, there's more to science than just hurting animals, but frankly it's the part I like best." The rat lies on his back drinking the beer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hairballs, dust, bunny, cultural, home, hide, clumps, under, furniture, nip, bud

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A large rabbit taps Dogbert on the back. Dogbert turns around and shouts, "Holy hairballs! What are you?!!" The bunny replies, "I am the 'Dust Bunny,' an emerging cultural icon." The bunny explains, "Once a year I come to every home and hide clumps of dust under furniture and major appliances." The dust bunny says, "You must honor me by decorating closet doors and singing dust hymns." Dogbert asks, "What about gifts? Do I get any gifts out of this?" The dust bunny replies, "No. The dust bunny symbolizes only love, goodwill and very poor housekeeping." Dogbert sucks up the dust bunny with a vacuum cleaner. He looks at the reader and says, "I know, it seems harsh, but you have to nip these things in the bud." The dust bunny cries from inside the vacuum, "Okay, gifts!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags calculating, twenty, percent, fiften, picture, diner, salad, forks, backs

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in a restaurant. The waiter hands Dilbert the check and says, "I've taken the liberty of calculating a twenty-percent tip." The server continues, "It's written on the back next to a picture of a smiling diner . . . A fifteen-percent tip is shown by the picture of a guilty-looking diner." The waiter continues, "Below that is a picture of a diner and his dog with salad forks in their backs . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, fishing, worms, wasted step, wasted, step, ate

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Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "People catch worms to go fishing." Dogbert thinks, "People eat fish that just ate worms." Dogbert thinks, "There is definitely a wasted step here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, japanese, technology, advantages, japan, employee, exchange

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Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We can no longer compete against the Japanese with their technology advantages." The Boss continues, "So we're sending you to Japan on an employee exchange program." Dilbert asks, "To learn their technology and bring it back here?" The Boss replies, "Just do for them what you've done for us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, woman, eye, contact, uncontrollable, urge, blink, twnety, times

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I like a man who makes eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "Uh no . . . Uncontrollable urge to look away . . . I've got to blink about twenty times. Why did she have to bring that up?" Dilbert covers his eyes, screams, knocks his drink over and blinks repeatedly. The woman turns to the reader and says, "I love doing that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, timid, person, furniture, proud, shut in, Dogbert, forever

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Dilbert thinks, "I'm feeling timid today . . . I felt timid yesterday too . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Holy cheese! I may be a timid person." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to build a blanket fort with the living room furniture and live in it forever." Dogbert replies, "I'm so proud of you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags prehistoric, Dilbert, Dogbert, wheel

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The caption says, "Prehistoric Dilbert . . ." Dilbert is wearing an animal skin and using a chisel to make a wheel. Dogbert, who has scales on his back, asks, "What is that?" Dilbert replies, "I call it 'the wheel.'" Dilbert and Dogbert try to cook food over the wheel as if it were a fire.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, construction, garage, paper, clips, gold, watch, birthdays

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Dilbert sits at a banquet table with three other people. The Boss stands at the podium and says, "Thank you all for coming to Irv Klepfurd's retirement celebration." The Boss continues, "Many of you know that Irv has been pilfering office supplies for his entire career." The Boss continues, "In fact, he's only retiring now because he finished construction on his garage made entirely of paper clips." The Boss continues, "This bill is for $87,000 of personal phone calls made from the office." The Boss continues, "Instead of a gold watch, I'm going to write the current time on this yellow sticky pad and slap it on his forehead." The Boss slaps Irv. The Boss continues, "Now . . . I understand we have some birthdays today . . ."