2007 Comic Strips - Page 17
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Character
Tuesday July 24,
2007
Tags wally refuses, stop eating, noisy snacks, likes salt, more ethan you, kelp, oatmeal
Transcript
Tina: I asked Wally to stop eating noisy snacks in his cubicle but he refuses. Catbert: "That's because he likes salt more than he likes you. We all feel the same way." Tina: "What?" CAtbert: "You're somewhere between oatmeal and kelp."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday July 23,
2007
Tags crunchy food, cubilces, love slat, more than coworkers, only jerks, salty food, disrepsect
Transcript
Tina: Your snacks are too loud. crunch crunch crunch "Only inconsiderate jerks eat crunchy food in cubicles." crunch crunch crunch Wally: "Maybe you should try to make me love you more than I love salt."
Sunday July 22,
2007
Tags use old technology, get funded, raise issue, any issues, old technology, works fine, new technology buggy
Transcript
Alice: Our pointy-haired boss is insisting we use old technology because he thinks it will be easier to get it funded. "You should raise that issue at the meeting." "We'll back you up." Dilbert: "Absolutely." The Boss: "Are there any issues?" Asok: "You're making us use old technology just to make your job easier." "Does anyone else think that?" "No." "No." "No." "The old technology works fine." "New technology is too buggy." "What was that?!!" "It's just something we do."
Saturday July 21,
2007
Tags all motivation, temporary, lead engineer, buzz kil, right back at you
Transcript
Dilbert: "I got promoted to lead engineer." Wally: "Me too." Dilbert: "Wow. Buzz kill." Wally: "Right back at you." The Boss: "If you think about it, all motivation is temporary."
Friday July 20,
2007
Tags senior engineer, lead engineer, pay is same, disrespect you, magic
Transcript
The Boss: I'm promoting you from senior engineer to lead engineer. "The pay is the same but people will disrespect you less." Dilbert: "Including you?" The Boss: "It's not magic."
Thursday July 19,
2007
Tags employee orientation, no time, exercise, long hours, trans fat, positive note, payroll dedcution, service, save money, dirt, cubicle, burial site, health
Transcript
Employee Orientation Catbert: "This job will leave you with no time for exercise." "You will work long hours and consume trans fats until you are shaped like this." "On a positive note, our payroll deduction service allows you to save money for dirt to turn your cubicle into a burial site."
Wednesday July 18,
2007
Tags hiring coordinator, projects, starts monday, input
Transcript
The Boss: I'd like your input on the idea of hiring a coordinator for our projects. "Terrible idea." "Waste of money." "Wouldn't help." "He starts Monday."
Tuesday July 17,
2007
Tags elbonian divison, do any work, every minute, hidden cameras, randomly fire, evil, buttocks tingle
Transcript
The Boss: My Elbonian division won't do any work unless someone is watching them every minute. Catbert: "Tell them you have hidden cameras." "Then randomly fire one Elbonian per week." The Boss: "Hee-hee! Evil makes my buttocks tingle."
Monday July 16,
2007
Tags elbonian branch, in my own country, see you inperson, mud, work long hours, wear dockers
Transcript
The Boss: I'll be managing the Elbonian branch office but I'll be based in my own country. "I'll never see you in person but I want you all to work long hours and wear Dockers." "What is he doing?" Elbonian: "Sometimes we use mud to muffle laughter."
Sunday July 15,
2007
Tags unqualified, position, job, higher salray, negotiate riase, irrational dipwad, easily manipulated, bogus compariosns, illusion of scaricity, can't have you, desparate to hire, rationalizations, total lack of qaulifications, write the offer, business
Transcript
"No offense, but you're totally unqualified for this position." Wally: "That's okay. I already have a job." "I just need a job offer at a higher salary so I can use it to negotiate for a raise." Wally: "My boss is an irrational dipwad who is easily manipulated by bogus comparisons and the illusion of scarcity." Wally: "Your offer will make him think my value is much higher than it actually is." "Great. Now that I know I can't have you, I desperately want to hire you." "My mind is already forming rationalizations for your total lack of qualifications!" "How do you turn this off?!!" Wally: "I'll tell you after you write the offer."

