Bought On Line Comic Strips - Page 17

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233 Results for Bought On Line

View 161 - 170 results for bought on line comic strips. Discover the best "Bought On Line" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #marketing campiagn, #free samples, #worked, #decline, #intelligence, #conclusion, #marketing, #business

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Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #worlds greatest intern, #plagues, #bought plague, #less prominent placement, #alice called it

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ASOK: "Alice, you are looking at the newest member of "the world's greatest interns." Alice: "That's a scam to convince gullible interns to buy overpriced wall plaques." Asok: "I'll be displaying you less prominently than we had discussed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #window facing cubicle, #available, #printer papaer, #free trip, #vendor, #sunlight, #bleach, #visible wood

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A prestigious window-facing cubicle has just become available. "It'll be a perfect place to store all the printer paper I bought so I could win a free trip from the paper vendor." "And maybe the sunlight wll bleach out the visible wood chips."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2006's comic on:


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I bought you a bumper sticker that says you give money to police charities. "Now you can ignore traffic laws with total impunity." "This is the greatest bumper sticker ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2006's comic on:


Tags #ethics course, #on line course, #perfect scores, #taking for boss

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What?! You only got a 'B' taking the online ethics course for me? "No one will believe you're me unless you get all perfect scores." "I...was...tired." "Why? You only did 300 push-ups for my online gym class!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2006's comic on:


Tags #animals in human situations, #career, #criticism, #jobs, #pet ownership, #counselor, #pity

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Career Counselor Woman: And why did you leave your last job? Dilbert: My dog was tired of hearing me whine about my job, so he became a billionaire and bought my company and fired me. Woman: I don't have a checkbox for that so I'll just write in "loser".

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2007's comic on:


Tags #passion for job, #ceo's visit, #meeting, #condescending, #rented mules, #intimidate, #corproartions, #afford luxury items, #ping pong table, #no raise, #offend, #belitte, #pay dosparity, #slavery, #business

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CEO Visit CEO: "It's important that you have a passion for your job." "For example, my passion involves working you like rented mules so I can afford to purchase luxury items." "I bought a ping-pong table with the raise you didn't get."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2007's comic on:


Tags #executive golf tournamnet, #cigar smokers, #foursome, #golf cart, #gas leak, #baked lunch, #beans, #flint

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Carol: "I finished planning the annual executive golf tournament." "I put all of the cigar smokers in your foursome in case your golf cart has a gas leak." "Lunch is baked beans and sauerkraut, and I bought you some golf balls made of flint."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #live person, #attracted to idea, #drain on morale, #voice mail, #secretary in action, #answering phone

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The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, from now on, I want a live person answering my phone." Carol asks the Boss, "What attracted you to that idea?" Carol continues, "Was it the inefficiency or the drain of morale?" The Boss replies, "Important executives don't use voice mail." Dilbert approaches the Boss and says, "I have some information for you." The Boss answers, "Call me." While standing in front of the Boss, Dilbert begins dialing his telephone number. Carol picks up the Boss' line and says, "He's not here. Do you want to leave a detailed message?" Dilbert answers, "Yes." Carol screams in the phone, "Well, you can't!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fake surveillance camera, #chepaer, #discourage thefts, #treat employees like criminals, #leave

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Dilbert walks by an open office door and hears, "Pssst!" Dilbert walks in and says, "Yes?" The Boss says, "Come in and shut the door." The Boss continues, "I bought a fake video surveillance camera." The Boss holds the Boss and says, "Install it in the break room tonight." The Boss continues, "It's cheaper than a real camera and it will discourage thefts." Dilbert says, "If you treat employees like criminals, they'll leave." The Boss says, "Good point. You'd better hide the fake camera so no one knows it's there." Dilbert puts the box in the trash and walks away whistling."