Brave Enough Comic Strips - Page 17

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View 161 - 170 results for brave enough comic strips. Discover the best "Brave Enough" comics from Dilbert.com.

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"I want to debate with people on the Internet but I worry that I'm not smart enough." "Maybe I'll just read what the smart people are saying." "Okay, I'm in."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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You haven't given me enough resources to do my project. "That's because your project isn't important and neither are you." "This took an ugly turn." "Would you mind not exhaling so much in my office?"

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"I got your overly brief e-mail, which obviously means you hate me and everything I stand for!" "I was in a hurry and didn't want to make you wait for a reply." "Well, okay, but I still have residual hatred that I'll need to transfer to some other aspect of your personality." "Fair enough."

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"We don't pay enough to attract qualified employees." "No problem. I'll hire unqualified people with good attitudes and train them." "Dilbert, when you get a second, train this guy." "Yay!"

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"This blog post you wrote for me isn't witty enough." "Try it again, but make me sound like Mark Twain." "'I reckon you'd be hankerin' for some quality. 'Taint happenin' but it orter.'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asthmatic dwarves, #polygamous serial killers, #reporter, #slouch, #wheeze, #homicide, #hen pecked

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Dogbert does public relations "Our products are made by asthmatic dwarves. You should do a story on that." "Not enough? Okay, what if the dwarves are also polygamous serial killers?" "When you talk to the reporter, try to slouch, wheeze, and act henpicked to the point of homicide."

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"Asok, I need you to create a PowerPoint presentation that will save our department from being eliminated." "You must quantify the unquantifiable. And that can only be done by a process that I call lying." "Lying is a process?" "It can be, if you use enough slides."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #interviews, #career goals, #80 hours a week, #below - market, #compensation

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Job interview Interviewee: But enough about me. How can I help you achieve your career goals? Boss: You could work 80 hours a week for below-market compensation. Interviewee: I did not see that coming. Boss: Good. I need employees who can't see it coming. You're hired.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #prices, #social media expert, #fee, #pay scale, #popcorn, #meeting, #hope left body, #business

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Dilbert: I assume we pay you based on how much you increase our social media hits. Consultant: No. My fee is whatever I think you're dumb enough to pay for ambiguous outcomes. Dilbert: Either hope just left my body or the popcorn is getting chatty. Social media expert

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #executives, #poor persons, #ceo morality test, #new tech, #fracking, #grinding porr people, #high pressure, #shale

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Dogbert: Imagine I invented a new technology for fracking. It involves grinding poor people into a slurry and pumping it into shale at high pressure. Do you see any problems with that? CEO: Not enough shale! CEO Morality Test