Create Lies Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

236 Results for Create Lies

View 161 - 170 results for create lies comic strips. Discover the best "Create Lies" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no opinion, #spineless, #Opinion, #unnecessary pain, #cry in public

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman are sitting at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "You don't give your opinion on anything. Are you spineless?" Dilbert says, "Maybe you create an environment in which giving an opinion is an invitation to unnecessary pain." The woman exclaims to Dilbert, "Great! You're making me cry in public!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethical to clone, #boss, #borrow cloner, #souls abomination, #souls irrelevant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks The Garbageman, "My boss asked me to clone him. Is that unethical?" The Garbageman replies, "You'll either create a soulless abomination or, if the clone is normal, you will have shown that souls are irrelevant." Dilbert asks, "What if the original is already a soulless abomination?" The Garbageman replies, "You can borrow my cloner. It's in the truck."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo visit, #discontinue work, #five days, #illusion of productivity, #diversity, #few open slots

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our CEO is visiting next week. Discontinue all real work immediately." The Boss continues, "We have five days to create the illusion of productivity." The Boss points to a clipboard and says, "Here's the diversity sign-up sheet. We still have a few open slots that only require a hat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dreaming about work, #sleep at work, #dreaming, #sleeping, #freaking out, #considered work, #pills

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally lies on a psychologist's couch and says, "I can't stop dreaming about work." Wally continues, "And I usually sleep at work, so I'm dreaming about sleeping and it's freaking me out." The therapist asks, "Have you considered doing work?" Wally responds, "I want pills. You Quack."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bulk mail, #first item, #junk mail, #morale skyrocketed, #remained unopned, #wm1, #walls letter, #only mail

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to The Boss and Dilbert, "My morale sky-rocketed when I received my first-ever item of bulk mail." Wally continues, "I have designated it 'WM1' for 'Wally's Mail One' and it shall remain forever unopened. The Boss says, "Bulk mail is the same as junk mail." Wally says to the letter, "Don't listen to his lies, WM1."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #estate planning, #probate costs, #create living trust, #lawyers, #witty observation

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Estate Planning. The lawyer says to Dilbert, "You can avoid probate costs by creating a living trust." Dilbert replies, "So.. I can use an inconvenient system created by lawyers to avoid a worse system created by lawyers?" The lawyer points to his watch and says, "According to my watch, that witty observation cost you four dollars."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #egos, #europe to denver, #lies, #made up, #management retreat, #middle management, #press release, #top

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't imagine you told everyone at the management retreat.... But our marketing department issued press release sago were designing a tunnel linking Europe to Denver. FLASHBACK Man: Im installing a new sprinkler system in my lawn. The boss: Must top.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #break into subgroups, #net meeting, #usual time, #loose canon, #label, #hackneyed phrases, #cut now type

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: "I recommend that we break into subgroups to create a process for choosing our next meeting time." alice: "Or we could just meet next week at our usual time." wally: "You're a loose canon." Alice: "Stop labeling me with hackneyed phrases!" Wally: "You're a 'cut now, measure later' type."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illusions of progress, #companys name, #hi tech sounding, #onomatopeoia, #duhflushtech, #lack of awareness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You need to change the company's name to create the illusion of progress." "The name should be hi-tech sounding with a hint of onomatopoeia that signals your total lack of awareness." "Maybe something like 'Duhflushtech, inc.'" "I like it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compnay, #synonymous with crime, #incompetence, #new logo, #computer graohics, #crime

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert Consults." Dogbert: "Your company has become synonymous with incompetence and crime." "Stop trying to be all things to all people. Focus on either the incompetence OR the crime." "For your new logo, I used computer graphics to create a composite face that looks totally incompetent." "Wow."