Customer Comic Strips - Page 17
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Character
216 Results for Customer
View 161 - 170 results for customer comic strips. Discover the best "Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 28,
2010
Tags customer service, credit card expense, reimbursement, late fees, punish, devil, hell, rock, sit at computer
Transcript
Dilbert says, "It takes you two months to process my company credit card expense reimbursement." Dilbert says, "So I get in trouble every month for incurring late fees." Dilbert says, "Why must I be punished for your incompetence?" Devil says, "Apparently I'm awesome."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday May 26,
2010
Tags control men, plan, exaggerate, overwork, overextend, yell, important, panic, coffee
Transcript
Alice says, "I learned to control men by exaggerating the importance of my projects and overextending myself." Alice says, "Our most important customer is coming and I won't be ready on time unless you fetch me some coffee!" Alice says, "In phase two, I make you enjoy it."
Monday September 06,
2010
Tags clean up, janitor, crime scene, push broom, deadly computer explosions
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I got transferred to our crime scene cleanup subsidiary." Dilbert says, "I have a competitive advantage because I have the customer lists from our other subsidiaries." Man says, "No, we haven't had any deadly computer explosions here." Dilbert says, "I'll check back in an hour."
Thursday October 14,
2010
Tags consult, customer data, complain, sell, identity thieves, foot in mouth, check
Transcript
Man says, "Customers are complaining that we sold their personal data." Man says, "And apparently all of the buyers were identity thieves." The Boss says, "That's impossible. We checked every buyer's ident? oh."
Wednesday January 07,
2009
Tags meeting, sales, annoyance, anger, business
Transcript
man says, "Thanks to a new law, every customer In my sales territory needed to upgrade." man says, "Now I wear a hat made of money. The funny thing is that I'm not even a good salesman." man says, "Next week, the donuts are on me." Alice says, "Die! Die! Die!"
Thursday February 05,
2009
Tags sales, economy, ridiculous, business
Transcript
Dilbert in sales Salesman says, "We had to be more creative because of the soft economy." Salesman says, "now we kill our customers and replace them with body doubles who place big orders." Customer says, "Who's the handsome new sales guy?" Salesman says, "He's you in about ten minutes."
Friday February 06,
2009
Tags evil, murder, refusal, reprimand
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "your boss says you refuse to do your job." Dilbert says, "he told me to kill a customer, assume her identity, and place a huge order with the company." Catbert says, "I'll transfer your to the collections department until you're willing to kill."
Tuesday February 10,
2009
Tags job, excuses, argument, depressed, conversation, business
Transcript
Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife left me, my truck caught on fire, and all of my organs are failing." Dilbert says, "I work in a collections department." Customer says, "You win." Dilbert says, "Winning isn't what it used to be." a voice yells, "Your five minute break is over!"
Friday May 29,
2009
Tags presentation, plan, lying, marketing, screaming, guilt, business
Transcript
The boss says, "In phase one, we'll tell our customer that the system failure won't happen again." Not us! The boss says, "In phase two, when it happens again, we'll act surprised." The boss says, "Then we'll say a software patch is being installed." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! We're bad people!"
Saturday July 25,
2009
Tags assignment, stupidity, yelling, Advice, reading
Transcript
The boss says, "Tina, answer this customer complaint. And remembert, the customer is always an idiot." Tina says, "I think you mean the customer is always?um?oh my?" The boss says, "Quick! Pop your ears so your head doesn't explode!" Gurk!


