Customers Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

170 Results for Customers

View 161 - 170 results for customers comic strips. Discover the best "Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, cell phones, fragile, aesthetics, vanity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.

Winning Design Awards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Winning Design Awards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, fragile, cell phone, crack, screen, evil, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!

Bad User Interface

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags user experience, interface, usability, menu, language

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."

Changing Company Name

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Changing Company Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hacker, hacking, privacy, facebook, retaliation, data, breach

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our customers are complaining because we let hackers get their personal data. So we've decided to change the name of the company and wear disguises until it all blows over. Take a mustache from the bag and pass it around.

Massive Data Breach

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Massive Data Breach  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags data, facebook, privacy, apology, statement, big business, lying, damage control

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, confused, employees, customer service

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?

Ron Moore

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, insults, jokes, mistake, sales, customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

Factories No Buyers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Factories No Buyers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, sarcasm, customers, poison

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.

Refusing Customer Demands

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Refusing Customer Demands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, customer, demands, face mask, fault, Lose, managers & supervisors, refuse, sarcasm, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: as you instructed, i refused to give in to our biggest customer's demands and they canceled all of their orders. boss: i didn't tell you to do that, you fool! dilbert: you told me to do exactly that. boss: i never told you to lose our biggest customer! dilbert: you told me to refuse their demands. boss: but i didn't tell you to lose the customer! dilbert yelling: it's the same thing!!! boss: the important thing here is that it's your fault. Dilbert yelling: i get it!!!