Developing Strategy Comic Strips - Page 17

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193 Results for Developing Strategy

View 161 - 170 results for developing strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Developing Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider

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Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #obliviousness, #ignorance, #idiocy

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Boss: Your comments on my technology strategy are ambiguous. You compared it to a "squirrel looking for a nut in the large hadron collider." Dilbert: So..? Boss: How many nuts are in there?

How Alice Can Disagree

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How Alice Can Disagree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Opinion, #argument, #disagreement, #open-minded, #dissenting opinion, #sincerity

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Alice: Is there any way to disagree with your new strategy without making you angry? Boss: Blah blah I value all opinions. Blah blah open door policy. Blah blah dissenting opinions are good. Alice: None of that sounded sincere. Boss: Nailed it.

Wally's Hobby

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Wally's Hobby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #compliment, #insult, #backhanded compliment, #hobby, #obliviousness, #deception

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Wally: Your strategy looks like a genius way to fight the last war. Boss: Thank you. Wally: No problem. You owe me a compliment. At what point does insulting your boss and getting away with it count as a hobby?

Dilbert Chooses Life

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Dilbert Chooses Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #off the grid, #emergency, #hiding, #help, #cell phone, #service, #connection, #nature, #allergy, #reaction, #decision, #technology

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Dilbert: My hiding strategy of going off the grid was working until I ate that berry. If I call for help, the government will find me. If I don't I will die. I choose life! Phone: No service.

Attendance Strategy

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Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #attendance, #Advice, #mentor, #mentoring

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Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #manager, #work, #results, #observation, #thinking, #strategy, #proof, #evidence

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Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

Bias For Action

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Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #action, #attention, #confusion, #listening, #strategy

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Boss: We need a bias for action. Dilbert: Does listening count? Boss: That's not action. Dilbert: So... you don't want me to listen to you? Boss: I didn't think this all the way through. Dilbert: Tap me on the shoulder when you're done.

Dilbert Aligns His Goals

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Dilbert Aligns His Goals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work, #happiness, #balance, #job, #contentment, #goal, #opposition, #oppose, #business, #psychology

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Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

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Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

Clarifying Our Strategies

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Clarifying Our Strategies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #speaking, #confusion, #language, #obliviousness, #managers, #fake, #faking

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Boss: I hope that clarifies our strategy. Questions? Dilbert: From what you said, I can't tell if we're in the hardware or software business. Boss: We're B-to-B. Dilbert: How much do you with that meant something?