Disguise True Objective Comic Strips - Page 17

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171 Results for Disguise True Objective

View 161 - 170 results for disguise true objective comic strips. Discover the best "Disguise True Objective" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office, #office workers, #pay raise, #employee of the year

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the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.

First Time Doing Marketing

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First Time Doing Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #criminals, #marketing, #office

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dilbert, dogbert and the boss at conference room table. dogbert: your competition has a superior product, but you can compensate by branding them as evil. dilbert: we can say they charge too much. dogbert: or...we can say their leather cases are made from the skin of executed criminals. dilbert: but that would not be true. dogbert: first time doing marketing?

Dogbert Designed The Simulation

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Dogbert Designed The Simulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #simulation, #creator, #three dimensional, #avatar, #truth, #made

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dogbert: i didn't want to tell you this, but you're a simulation designed by a three-dimensional creator. and i'm an avatar used by your creator to interact with your world. dilbert: i refuse to believe that is true dogbert: yep. that's how i made you

Mad Or Flirting

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Mad Or Flirting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flirting, #relationships, #feelings, #awkward, #psychology, #anger, #office workers

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dilbert: why are you mad at me? Carol: i'm not dilbert: oh. i'm not good at reading people's feelings carol: true dilbert: are you flirting with me now? carol getting up: i'm going to sit over here

Shocking Fake Video

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Shocking Fake Video - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insults, #obliviousness, #videos, #conspiracy

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Boss: Did you see the shocking claims in the video I emailed to you? Dilbert: Yes. The video is so obviously fake that only a raging moron would think any of it is true. Boss: I think it's all true. Dilbert: Welp, that's one data point in my favor.

Better Fast Than Good

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Better Fast Than Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #email, #office workers, #sadness, #sarcasm, #time, #truth

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Dilbert: I got your email, but I didn't have time to include your upgrades on my analysis. It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it's late. Alice: Why is it that everything true is also sad? Dilbert: That's how the truth works.

Great Idea

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Great Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #idea, #office workers, #sarcasm, #trick, #truth, #evidence

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Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.

You Can Say No

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You Can Say No - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #technology, #insubordination, #stupid, #test, #video, #sarcasm

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dilbert wearing face mask: did you know you can just refuse to do things that are stupid, and it will be okay? tina: i don't believe that. dilbert: it's true! i've been testing it all week. tina: take a video next time you do it so i can see how. dilbert: no, that's stupid.

Captcha

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Captcha  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #application, #app, #robot, #ability, #evidence, #explaination, #moron, #sense

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boss: gaaa! why can't i ever type the captcha letters correctly to get into this app? dilbert: your inability to prove you are not a robot is strong evidence that you are, in fact, a robot. boss: yes, that makes sense. dilbert: the other explanation is that you are a moron, and you know that isn't true, so...

Still Get Paid

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Still Get Paid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #colleagues, #unreliable, #false, #true, #paid, #process, #believe, #sarcasm

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tina: i've been keeping a running list, and it seems that 100% of the things you told me this year have been false. wally: and we both got paid, so what's your point? tina: i...don't know how to process that. wally: i'd tell you, but apparently you wouldn't believe me.