Double Wide Comic Strips - Page 17

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168 Results for Double Wide

View 161 - 168 results for double wide comic strips. Discover the best "Double Wide" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wages, #cost of living, #raise, #money, #rent, #apartment, #roommate, #space

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Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.

Groomed For Management

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Groomed For Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #back-stabbing, #management, #betrayal, #double cross

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Dilbert: My boss is trying to groom me for management. How can I get out of it? Wally: Tell him that as soon as you are sufficiently groomed you will stab him in the back and take his job. Dilbert: ...and then I'll take your job. Boss: I'm moving you to the advanced management class.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

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Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality

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Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Ideal Customer

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Ideal Customer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #market research, #sham, #yes-man, #demographics

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Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.

Negotiating Expert

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Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #negotiation, #training, #irony, #obliviousness, #business

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Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.

Changing The Website

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Changing The Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.

Sending Email At Night

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Sending Email At Night - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #email, #employees, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?

The Opinionated Old Guy

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The Opinionated Old Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #internet & world wide web, #old, #Opinion

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the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.