Fair Share Price Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

223 Results for Fair Share Price

View 161 - 170 results for fair share price comic strips. Discover the best "Fair Share Price" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #deception, #political reasons, #irrational nonsense, #filter

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your plan is technically sound, but I have to reject it for political reasons I can't share. Dilbert: I'll come back with some plans that are irrational nonsense and see if they make it past your filter. Boss: I'll always wonder if there was a better way to handle that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #5 minute huddle, #high energy, #standup meeting, #solved in minute

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I want the entire staff to meet at 10 A.M. every day for a five-minute huddle. The Boss: We'll use this high-energy stand-up meeting to solve problems and share successes. The Boss: Who has a problem that can be solved in a minute?"Wally: I'm tired. Can I sit on you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #5 minute daily huddle, #obstacles

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Who has some success to share at our 5-minute daily huddle? The Boss: Okay...Are there any obstacles? Asok: Everything.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #workplace rumours, #idiot, #false rumor, #charging for rumors

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legal fees, #lawsuit, #fee is 100%, #analog, #lawyer, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "How much do I owe you in legal fees for helping me win my lawsuit?" Dogbert says, "My fee is 100% of the jury award plus I get to call you names that sound worse than they are." Dilbert says, "That doesn't seem fair." Dogbert says, "You're an analog."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworker, #human resources, #sit on table, #broke arm, #bandage, #alice, #angry, #engineer, #math, #education, #business, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consult, #customer data, #money, #meeting, #front, #ethical, #enemy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Customer data is an asset that you can sell." Dogbert says, "It's totally ethical because our customers would do the same thing to us if they could." The Boss says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "In phase one, we'll dehumanize the enemy by calling them 'data.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #investing, #rudeness, #firing, #downsizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Your stock fell a penny a share so I bough 51% of the company." Dogbert says, "I'll double my investment just by firing you." Dogbert says, "Thanks for not being totally worthless." Man says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #asking, #meeting, #group, #conference, #drinking, #collusion, #scared, #nervous, #corruption, #greed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Summit Dogbert says, "Do you collude?" Man says, "Sometimes." Dogbert says, "Are you colluding with anyone now, because I'd sure like to collude with you." Dogbert says, "What are you into? Maybe a little price fixing?" Man says, "This is all happening so fast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiating, #broke, #poor, #economy, #recession, #comparison, #exaggeration

View Transcript

Transcript

Negotiating in a bad economy The Boss says, "My company is so poor that we need a 20% price reduction or we'll go belly-up." Man says, "My company is so poor that our only chance of eating involves throwing office supplies at low-flying birds." The boss says, "Shall we say 10%?" Man says, "Our health plan is 'Screaming.'"