Figures Support Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

177 Results for Figures Support

View 161 - 170 results for figures support comic strips. Discover the best "Figures Support" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crime victims, #embarrassment, #lost money, #phishing scam, #questioning support, #stifle laugh

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; I lost all of my money to a phishing scam. Catbert: Must... stifle... laugh. Mmmph! Pressure is building. Must contain... \\ Boss: Are you being supportive? I can't tell. Catbert: Mmmph!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #cruelty, #tech supprt, #highly trained engineer, #electrical engineer, #most proabable, #reinstalled software, #rebooted, #default, #request

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: This is tech support. How may I help you? Dilbert: Before we start, I need to tell you that I'm a highly trained electrical engineer. I have already eliminated all of the most probable causes of my issue. I have reinstalled the software and I have rebooted several times. So please, if you have any respect for humanity, do not start this call by insisting that I reboot again. Can you do that? Can you not ask me to reboot as your first suggestion? Dogbert: Try rebooting. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Dogbert: I kinds love my job.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee, #Advice, #health, #wellness, #money, #cost, #work ethic, #fatigue, #Family, #marriage, #support, #insult, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.

Boss Figures Out A System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Figures Out A System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #managing, #problems, #work, #workload, #solution, #problem-solving

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm bored. Boss: Here's some more work. Alice: I'm overwhelmed with work. Boss: Here's some more work. Boss: Managing was hard until I figured out a system.

Twitter Complaints

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Twitter Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer servie, #customer support, #trolling, #social media, #popularity, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.

Unethical Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unethical Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #ethics, #misleading, #finances, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #add code, #corporate scamming, #darkest day, #designed new prodcut, #draft apology, #engineering success, #make unrelaible, #no upgarde, #press release, #ten years

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.

Adjust The Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office, #research, #tests, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Press Release

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Press Release - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #boss, #unethical, #scientists, #press, #question, #overkill

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The unethical scientist we hired to support our product claims started today. Boss: Write a press release that says whatever we want him to say and put his name on it. Dilbert: Should we show it to him? Boss: That feels like overkill.

Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #boss, #conscience, #rethink, #quit, #raise, #going along, #don't, #ruin

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.