Hair Growth Comic Strips - Page 17

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

196 Results for Hair Growth

View 161 - 170 results for hair growth comic strips. Discover the best "Hair Growth" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career counseling, mad about downsized, involves punching, kicking, resume, alice, seeking job

View Transcript

Transcript

Career Counseling. Dogbert: "Apparently you're still mad about being downsized." "According to your resume, you're seeking a job that involves 'punching a short, stocky guy with pointy hair.'" "Is that the only job you'd consider?" Alice: "I also like kicking."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags viosnary executives, block of wood, foresee good numbers, new glasses

View Transcript

Transcript

"Optometrist for Visionary Executives" "Look through this block of wood." "Is this better or worse?" "Better." "I forsee forty quarters of growth." "Hey, new glasses?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I just saw a study that says the dull appearance of my cubicle is probably inhibiting the growth of neurons in my brain! "Try sitting there for a few hours and then tell me if you feel any different." "Now I can't remember what I was complaining about."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"If you don't give us a urine sample to test, I have to fire you." "How about a hair sample to test instead?" "How do I know it's your hair?" "You can take the sample yourself." "Add this to the list of things you shouldn't trust human resources to do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Gaaa! You put your gum on this recyclable waste material!!!" "How do you like it in your hair? Huh? Not so funny now is it, tree-killer!" "The worst part is that I envy him for being passionate about his job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Do you know where Asok is?" "NO, I DO NOT!" "Do you think it's my job to know the location of all employees? Do you? Do you? Do you?" "Have you seen Alice?" "GAAA!!! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presidential candiditae, funny haired one, social policies, exact opposite, tax plan, bad plan, make out, like intelligent men, she lied

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Tina, "Which presidential candidates do you like?" Tina replies scratching her head, "I strongly favor the one with the funny hair. I forgot his name." Dilbert says, "His social policies are the exact opposite of your views." Tina answers, "Really?" Tina says to Dilbert, "Well, I like his tax plan." Dilbert replies, "Every credible economist thinks it's a bad plan." Tina answers, "Oh." Dilbert says, "It's a good thing we talked before you polluted the system with your vote." Dilbert then asks Tina, "Do you want to make out?" Dilbert arrives at home and explains to Dogbert, "She claimed to like intelligent men, but she lied."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dna, feed her, human genome, human simulations, invented, mapped and decoded, market application, on computer watch, punish her, samples, software, software simulation, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bearded guy, too close, Dilbert, bugged out, touching brain with nose

View Transcript

Transcript

Then I said... Dilbert: He is totally violating my personal space with his non-standard facial hair." "HA! HA! HA! HA!" Gaaa!!! His warm, moist breath is all over me!" "Please stop touching my brain with your nose."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, fake websites, gullibility, idiopathy epidemic, internet & world wide web, search engine, slap the victim

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I've learned to control reality by creating fake websites and doing search engine optimization. Boss: Did you hear about the idiopathy epidemic? They symptoms include pointy hair and gullibility. The only treatment is for someone else to slap the victim. Alice: Ask for it like you mean it.