Hate The Messenger Comic Strips - Page 17
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273 Results for Hate The Messenger
View 161 - 170 results for hate the messenger comic strips. Discover the best "Hate The Messenger" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 09,
2003
Tags 40 hours, everyone, likes asok, minute old, new system, work one computer, extreme programming
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday February 17,
2003
Tags take call, excuse me, inconsiderate guts, crushing head, imagine
Transcript
Dilbert is in a meeting. His coworker's cell phone rings. The coworker says, "Excuse me while I take this call." Dilbert replies, "Okay." Just as the coworker is about the answer his phone, Dilbert says, "Excuse me while I hate your inconsiderate guts." The coworker turns away annoyed and says into his phone, "No, nothing important." Dilbert continues, "Excuse me while I imagine crushing your head."
Saturday March 01,
2003
Tags fire toxic co worker, lazy and ineffectual, selfish, toxic guy, Wally
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, and Alice approach The Boss. Dilbert says, "We demand that you fire our toxic co-worker." Wally turns to Dilbert and asks, "You aren't talking about me, are you?" Dilbert turns and says, "No, you're lazy and ineffectual with an overlay of selfish." Wally asks, "And I hate the toxic guy?"
Thursday March 06,
2003
Tags loser magazine, featuring you, cover photo, breakroom, napping, show offs
Transcript
Carol enters Wally's cubicle and says, "A man from 'Loser Magazine' wants to see you." Carol continues, "He said something about featuring you on the cover." Wally replies, "Send him over." Carol looks out and says, "I tried, but he keeps going into the break room and napping." Wally responds, "I hate show-offs."
Tuesday October 14,
2003
Tags hate people, never allowed shoes, Dogbert, hows my walking, dial, 1800
Transcript
"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say, 'How am I walking? Call 1-800 blah, blah, blah.'" "If you call the number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes!" "The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas."
Tuesday October 21,
2003
Tags guest cartoonist, rob the dinosuar, bob, million degrees, costume, you idiot, no pay, every has cotsume
Transcript
Whos todays Guest Cartoonist? Hi rob the dinosaur here! Today I want to.... cut! Your name is Bob! Sir, Its like a million degrees in here, Cant we take a two minute break? No! You'll do it until you get it right. you idiot! you have dissected me. no pay for you! I hate dilbert, SSH! HE'll hear you! Answer: Go to Dilbert.com
Wednesday October 29,
2003
Tags evil dircetor, comapnay, free cholesterol screening, bacon and cheese hoagies, free hoagies
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil HR Director." "The company will provide free cholesterol screening on Tuesday." "At the same time, we're providing bacon and cheese hoagies across the hall. It's your choice." "I hate him, but I also love him."
Thursday January 15,
2004
Tags over head storage, anxiety, doesn't fit, baggae, luggae, army on, above seat, iowa, airplane
Transcript
Dilbert: GAAA!!! Im having overhead storage anxiety!! It doesn't fit! Everyone will hate me for delaying the flight! Flight attendant: We ere scheduled to fly to new york, but thanks to the bag that didn't fit, we have to leave in Iowa.
Saturday February 21,
2004
Tags make ted quit, aggressive replacement, share resources, job unbearable, pants, in same pants
Transcript
The boss: I hate Ted. How can I make him quit? Catbert: "That's easy." "Hire an aggressive replacement for Ted who will share his resources and make his job unbearable." Ted: "These are my pants." "Are you still here?"
Monday June 07,
2004
Tags prima donna, indeispensable, being obnoxious, undermining authority, pants optional zone
Transcript
"I hired a new Prima Donna. I already hate his guts, but he's indispensable." "He'll be dividing his time between being obnoxious and undermining my authority." "And the rules don't apply to him." "I declare this a pants-optional zone."