Internet Comic Strips - Page 17
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208 Results for Internet
View 161 - 170 results for internet comic strips. Discover the best "Internet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 01,
2004
Tags internet problems, clicking, try something else, not working, crazy boss
Transcript
"Dilbert, come in here." "I keep clicking on this link and nothing happens." "Click click click click." "See?" "Try something else." "Why would I do that?" "The definition of insanity is: doing the same thing and expecting a different result." "Hey, it worked this time!" "What we have here is a bad precedent." "They called me 'crazy.'"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday May 12,
2013
Tags interviews, mental health, creative, adhd, dyslexia, bipolar, schizophrenia, creativity, normal is boring, turning tables, job interview
Transcript
Boss: I'm looking for an employee who is creative. Interviewee: That's me. I have ADHD and dylsexia. I'm also bipolar and schizophrenic. Dilbert: Checking the Internet... Well... that's surprising. Each of his conditions is highly correlated with creativity. Interviewee: Are you a normal? Boss: I... think so. Interviewee: Wow. I feel sorry for you. It must be hard going through life without any creativity. Boss: What's happening here? Dilbert: It might be some sort of creative thing.
Sunday June 02,
2013
Tags engineer, good manager, leads by example, managers & supervisors, middle manager, monster truck rallies, suspicion, teaching, education, business, engineering
Transcript
Boss: A goo manager leads by example. How does it help an engineer to see an example of how to be a middle manager? Dilbert: That's like teaching physics by showing examples of monster truck rallies. Alice: Should we say dumb things, too, or have you not started leading by example yet? Wally: Now what is he doing/ Are we supposed to do that? Dilbert: I think he's leading by example now! Boss: I'm starting to wonder if everything I read on the Internet is wrong.
Saturday June 15,
2013
Tags apathy, death & dying, distress, rearrange bits, already dead
Transcript
Dilbert: All I did this week was rearrange bits on the Internet. I had no real impact on the physical world. I can't rule out the possibility that I'm already dead and I don't know it. Okay, still an open question.
Saturday June 29,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), internet & world wide web, binder, cloud
Transcript
Boss: Alan has been out of the workforce for a long time. I need you to ease him back in. Coworker: Do you have a binder of the company policies? Dilbert: It's in the cloud.
Tuesday July 23,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, money, bertcoins, digital currency, anonymous genous, mail, attachment, pirates
Transcript
Ratbert: I'm moning for bertcoins. It's a digital currency created by an anonymous genius. Hey, I'm getting an email from a Somali fellow who wants me to open an attachment. What happened to all of my bertcoins? Bob: Digital Somali pirates!
Tuesday August 06,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, loneliness, marriage, wifi, no wife, social, intellectual; needs, human contact, relationships
Transcript
Coworker: Are you married? Wally: I don't have a wife, but I do have wifi. I find that it meets all of my social and intellectual needs. Coworker: Do you miss the warmth of human contact? Wally: Never tried it. Sounds problematic.
Sunday September 29,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, sales personnel, deluxe edition, store, online shopping, unnecessary warranty extenstion, digital receipt
Transcript
Dilbert: Okay, you talked me into buying the deluxe edition. Salesman: We don't have that one in stock, but I could call around to our other stores. Dilbert: Technically, that means this is not actually a store. You're more like online shopping, but with a terrible user interface. Watch me buy that same item with my phone while you stand there being obsolete. And... done. Salesman: Did they try to sell you an unnecessary warranty extension? Dilbert: No. Salesman: Yes! I still have a purpose! Dilbert: Here's my digital receipt.
Monday September 16,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, surveillance, government databases, rest passwords, case file, face on pennies
Transcript
Wally: I thought you were on the run for hacking the government's databases. Dilbert: I was. But they forgot to reset their passwords, so I deleted my case file and gave myself a tax break. Wally: Did you get me anything? Dilbert: You're the new face on pennies.
Sunday October 20,
2013
Tags dating, internet & world wide web, social media cosultant, one like, less than ten thousand, insulting, elbonian, inflate your like count, socialize, wine glasses, bar wine, kiss, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.


