Light Show Comic Strips - Page 17

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374 Results for Light Show

View 161 - 170 results for light show comic strips. Discover the best "Light Show" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert show, gettung givernment back, buy liquor, buy cigarettes, buy firearms, drive thru, gets rid of people

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Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "'Corn starch' . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Stores sell it, but who buys it?" Dogbert thinks, "Who irons corn anyway?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lacking clerical support, highly trained, paid professionals, copier, analytical sklills, mindless, toner, five minutes

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Dilbert and Wally are in the copier room. Dilbert stands behind Wally thinking, "Lacking clerical support, the highly trained, highly paid professionals line up at the copier." Dilbert continues thinking, "Their amazing analytical skills are squandered in this mindless task." Wally says, "No . . . It looks like the 'toner' light doesn't turn off if you wait." Dilbert says, "Let's give it another five minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags how to program, build gui, object oriented, pronounced gooey, gun object, blast bug, hall object

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The Boss sits at a computer and Wally and Dilbert stand behind him. The Boss raises his hands over the keyboard and says, "Okay, just show me how to program so I can help out on your project." Dilbert says, "You're going to build a 'G.U.I.' using object-oriented development tools . . ." Wally adds, "G.U.I. is pronounced 'gooey.'" The Boss says, "I used my gun object to blast the bug object in the hall object!!" Wally says, "Notice how gooey it is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags undefined acronyms, lower opinion, communication skills, complex pictures

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Dilbert stands beside an overhead projector. He says, "This next transparency is an incomprehensible jumble of complexity and undefined acronyms." Dilbert continues, "You might wonder why I'm going to show it to you since the only possible result is to lower your opinion of my communication skills." Dilbert points at the diagrams and says, "Frankly, it's because I like making complex pictures more than I like you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, party, hat, new years, resolutions, arm chair, spirit, short term, tolerance

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Dilbert: Put on you party hat, Dogbert. It's almost 1990. Do you have any new year's resolutions? Dogbert: A few... I resolve to show no tolerance for those less fortunate...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, meeting, copy, agenda, wrong, awkward, leave, casually, problem, economy, deeper, interest, rates, cover, dark

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Dilbert enters a conference room and asks, "Is this the meeting?" People at the table mumble a response. Dilbert says, "Good." A man says, "Everybody take a copy of the agenda." Dilbert reads the agenda and thinks, "I'm in the wrong meeting . . . Now it's too awkward to leave." Dilbert thinks, "I'll casually stretch my arms, flick the lights off and escape under cover of dark." Dilbert turns the light off. Several people say, "Ouch!" Five people lie on top of each other in the doorway. The man says, "Oh, sorry, wrong agenda." Dilbert arrives at home wearing tattered clothing. He tells Dogbert, "I'm starting to think that the problem with our economy is deeper than high interest rates."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agreement, grant, sign, strategic omissions, waiver, proofread, company, forcing to sign, business

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Dilbert sits on the couch with his knees bent. He hands a document to Dogbert and says, "Look at the agreement my company is forcing us to sign. They claim the rights to any idea an employee ever has." Dilbert looks at the document and says, "No problem. Just retype it with a few strategic omissions and sign it. They can't proofread every one." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be dishonest?" Dogbert replies, "Maybe you could just show them some of your ideas and they'd grant a waiver."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demo, ne wpordcut, vp next week, delay, ship date, lower morale, create unending demand, unproductive demos, doing valuable work, quality, banner

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The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Could you do a demo of the new product for our VP next week?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . That would delay the ship date, lower morale and create an unending demand for more unproductive demos . . ." Dilbert continues, "Logically, since your objective is to show that we're doing valuable work . . ." The Boss interrupts, "And we'll need a banner that says 'Quality.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags panther, cup of coffee, phil, prince, golden boy, potato salad, spoon

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The Boss enters the office kitchen and reaches for the coffeepot. He thinks, "He slips in like a panther to take the last cup of coffee and not make more." A devil carrying a spoon appears and shouts, "I am Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light! I darn you to heck!!!" The Boss looks surprised and says, "Phil?" Phil says to the Boss, "You were always mom's golden boy." The Boss looks in the refrigerator and says, "Somebody brought potato salad. Give me your spoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dominion, dolts, breathing air, Dogbert

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Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "My dominion over the planet is not widely recognized by the dolts who are breathing my air." Dogbert continues, "So I've declared total sovereignty over a small, ever-widening zone surrounding my body." Dilbert asks, "How big is the zone?" Dogbert says into a megaphone, "You have just entered Dogbertland. Please show your passport and leave the oxygen alone!"