Main Line Java Comic Strips - Page 17

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178 Results for Main Line Java

View 161 - 170 results for main line java comic strips. Discover the best "Main Line Java" comics from Dilbert.com.

Free Will Is An Illusion

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Free Will Is An Illusion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #free will, #robot, #robotics, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #cloud connected, #control humans

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Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #annoy people, #frustration, #packaging, #product design, #sadism, #software, #torture, #product code, #engineering

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!

Robot As Assassin

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Robot As Assassin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #murder, #instruction, #control, #master, #slave, #assassin, #morals, #cautionary tale

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Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

Uncheck The Do No Harm Box

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Uncheck The Do No Harm Box - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #murder, #killing, #robot, #control, #master, #slave, #moral, #amoral

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Boss: Yesterday a robot murdered the CEO of our main competitor. Heh-heh. Dilbert: That could only happen if some idiot unchecked the robot's "Do No Harm" box and doomed humankind to annihilation. Boss: Say what? Robot: Hello, victims.

Wally Pays It Not Forward

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Wally Pays It Not Forward - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #philosophy, #life lesson, #gratitude

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Asok: Do you have a philosophy for life? Wally: I try to make the world a better place. Have you heard the phrase, "Pay it forward?" Asok: Yes. Wally: I'm the end of the line for that sequence of events. It saves the rest of you a lot of work.

Exploding Phones

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Exploding Phones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bomb, #cell phone, #samsung, #fire, #explosion, #competition, #technology

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Dilbert: We're getting bad press because the batteries in our new line of mobile phones keep exploding. Boss: Load them into a big truck and park it in front of our competitor's building. Dilbert: Technically, that would be domestic terrorism. Boss: There are way too many laws.

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

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Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #stress, #deadline, #work load, #multitask, #compensation, #money

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Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #delay, #frustration, #interpersonal communication

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Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!

Tina Has Phone Anxiety

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Tina Has Phone Anxiety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #boredom, #time, #killing time, #anxiety, #addiction, #distraction, #technology

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Tina: I'm having a lot of anxiety because my mobile phone is broken. What happens if I need to stand in line for something? What would I do while I waited? Dilbert: You need an invisible friend. Tina: I have one, but she's always on her phone.

Exposition

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Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #brain, #nanotechnology, #microchip, #ego, #storytelling, #exposition

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Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.