Marry A Rich Guy Comic Strips - Page 17

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View 161 - 170 results for marry a rich guy comic strips. Discover the best "Marry A Rich Guy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gloating, #rich people, #leadership experts, #brag about weath, #comforatble

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Boss: Leadership experts say I should never brag about my wealth. Let's just say I'm "comfortable." So very, very comfortable. Alice: Yeah, this isn't working.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actions & defenses, #billion dollars, #business ethics, #golden key, #rich people, #top 1%, #flying unicorn

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Boss: Here's a billion dollars to settle your claim of discrimination against short, bald, nearsighted guys. Wally: I'm in the top 1% now. I wonder where we hold our secret meetings. Boss: Ask the tiny flying unicorn with the golden key.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clubs, #meetings, #rich people, #tiny flying unicron, #commodities, #1% club, #imagination, #Entertainment

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Wally: A tiny flying unicorn gave me this key. Guard: Grab a snout and a hat. We're just about to manipulate the commodities market. Wally: Is it my imagination or everything a little bit better here?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rich people, #discrimination stellement, #lazy, #unscupulous, #mirror

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Dilbert: I expected you to quit after you got your billion-dollar discrimination settlement. Wally: Just because I'm lazy and unscrupulous, why would you assume I'm also a quitter? Dilbert: I... um... Wally: I don't know how you look at yourself in the mirror.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #rich people, #top 1%, #Women, #sisters, #hot, #attraction, #co worker, #relationships

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Wally: Now that I'm a top one-percenter, I wonder what kind of women I'll attract. Do you have any sisters back home? I'm asking because you'd be totally hot if you were a woman. So I'm thinking hoo-ah! Asok: I cannot count the number of ways this is wrong.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monsters, #office equipment, #email servers, #ancestral hime, #reduce expenses, #data vampires, #exagerration, #fiber optic

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I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #marriage, #interpretation, #annoying, #soul mate, #perceptive, #psychology, #relationships

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Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astronomy, #billions of planets, #scientists, #version of dilbert, #earth like, #many universes

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Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #booth, #brochure, #exhibitions, #exhibitor expenses, #expenses, #huge crowds, #last 11 years, #logo sign, #new customers, #popular booth, #spillover, #steal chair, #trade show, #video of incident, #youtube

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Boss: How did we do at the trade show? Dilbert: We had a huge crowd around our booth the entire time. But it was just the spillover from the popular booth next to us. The only person who asked for our brochure used it to kill a spider. Some guy tried to steal our extra chair and then Alice beat him senseless with our logo sign. A video of the incident is already on YouTube. It cost us $200,000 to be an exhibitor and we gained zero new customers. So it was just like the last eleven years. Boss: I feel good about next year!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Astrology, #furniture, #magic, #feng shui, #black magic, #voodoo, #psychic, #overbooked, #office design, #occult

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Dilbert: The feng shui consultant you asked for is overbooked. But I found a guy who is heavily into astrology, black magic, and voodoo. Boss: Are you trying to tell me something? Dilbert: Ask him. He's also a psychic.