Non Technical Comic Strips - Page 17

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199 Results for Non Technical

View 161 - 170 results for non technical comic strips. Discover the best "Non Technical" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2007's comic on:


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"I don't understand why technical writers get paid less than engineers." "If you were capable of understanding that sort of thing, you'd be an engineer." "This took an ugly turn." "And your dress looks like a tube sock with aspirations."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #delusional sociopath, #executives, #gardener, #goat writing autobiograohy, #hallucinations, #hard work, #intuition, #magical thinking, #non-fiction, #vision, #regrets

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Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #letter, #ceo, #reading, #good fortune, #share, #winery, #wine, #angry, #helicopters, #human chess board, #frighten, #dwarves, #business

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The Boss says, "Our CEO wants to share his good fortune with all employees." The Boss says, "He invites all of you to visit his winery and buy his non-award-winning wine at nearly retail prices." The Boss says, "He asks that you not park your helicopters near his human chess board because it frightens the dwarves."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #technical jargon, #lame, #condescending, #integration layer, #insult, #head, #business

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Wally says, "This week I mapped our applications to our domains and defined the interface between our applications and our software environment." Wally says, "Whatever you did this week probably seems lame compared to all of that." Wally says, "The stuff I'm doing is way up here in what's called in the integration layer." The Boss says, "What's he's been reading?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #communication skills, #training, #class, #stand on stool, #idiots, #pairs, #coworker

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Communication Skills Training Dogbert says, "Today you will learn how to listen to idiots without snoring." Dogbert says, "Break into groups of two, with one idiot and one non-idiot in each pair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #director of purchasing, #ethernet switch, #pencils, #annoyed, #problem, #dinosaur

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Bob, Director of Purchasing Asok says, "I requested an ethernet switch and you sent me a box of pencils." Bob says, "Sometimes I tweak the non-standard orders so I can use our approved vendors." Asok says, "You can't tell the difference between a switch and a pencil?" Bob says, "I can tell the difference between your problem and mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #acting, #lesson, #occupation

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The Boss says, "We don't have enough money to fund your project, but I don't want to downsize you and shrink my empire." The Boss says, "I hired an acting coach to teach you how to hang around the office pretending to be useful." man says, "Are you dead or just non-expressive?" Dilbert says, "It's called a 'job'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2009's comic on:


Tags #telling, #confused, #relinquish, #change, #excuses, #reasoning

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The Boss says, "Tina, you can't work at home anymore because the admins can't do it, and they're jealous." Tina says, "I'm a technical writter. Why don't you explain to the admins that my job is different from theirs." The Boss says, "When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #customer, #hands, #refusal, #ridicule, #criticism, #germs, #angry

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The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet one of our biggest customers. She has some technical questions." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Get that disease-infested paw away from me!" Dilbert says, "Don't you follow the news? Shaking hands is so 2008." Dilbert says, "No offense, but you look more like a virus incubator than a vigorous hand washer." Dilbert says, "So why don't you pull that death stick back up your sleeve and we can pretend this ugly incident never happened." Dilbert says, "And if it's not too much to ask, could you exhale toward things I'm likely not to touch?" Dilbert says, "Okay, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, what can I tell you about our new product line?" Dilbert says, "We lost a customer, but I survived the meeting." The Boss says, "Next time, do it the other way."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceo's meeting, #boos, #Dilbert, #status on technology, #platform migration, #nothing to hide, #100 drunken clowns, #beed in their underpants, #decline in morale, #pretending tow ork, #get fired, #hide things

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CEO Meeting The Boss: "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." CEO: "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" The Boss: "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." Dilbert: "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline in morale to lead to violence." "Most of us are only pretending to work while secretly hoping the project gets canceled after you get fired by the board." "It turns out that we did have a few things to hide."