Old Apple Computer Comic Strips - Page 17
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851 Results for Old Apple Computer
View 161 - 170 results for old apple computer comic strips. Discover the best "Old Apple Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 15,
2002
Tags #computer, #recycled paper, #doomed to fail, #find joy, #misery, #technology
Transcript
The Boss puts his arm around Dilbert and says to the meeting, "I asked Dilbert to lead the team in making a computer entirely from recycled paper." Asok exclaims, "Ha Ha Ha!! You are totally doomed to fail!!" Asok says, "Wally is teaching me to find joy in the misery of others." Dilbert turns to Asok and responds, "You're on my project team."
Wednesday November 27,
2002
Tags #computer screen, #defective, #ignoring, #knock yourself out, #over rated, #vigorusly
Transcript
Asok asks The Boss, "The lower left part of my computer screen is defective. May I order a replacement?" The Boss replies, "That part of the screen is overrated. Try ignoring it." Asok asks, "May I vigorously bang my head on your desk?" The Boss replies, "Sure. Knock yourself out."
Saturday January 11,
2003
Tags #extreme programming., #code writing, #team, #tw programmers, #one computer, #productive arrangement, #whistle both nostrils, #saved on harmonicas, #business
Transcript
Extreme Programming. Wally and Dilbert are sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "The two of you will be a code-writing team." The Boss continues, "Studies prove that two programmers on one computer is the most productive arrangement." Dilbert types with a furrowed brow. Wally says, "Sometimes I can whistle through both nostrils. I've saved a fortune in harmonicas."
Wednesday March 26,
2003
Tags #furniture psychic, #old chair, #passed
Transcript
Headline: Furniture Psychic. Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk wearing a magician's hat. Dogbert says, "Your old chair has passed to the other side." Dogbert continues, "He says you'll know what this means: 'Squeak, squeak." The Boss cries and says, "Yes." Dogbert says, "Your desk says, 'Thanks for the gum.'" The Boss sobs, "I need closure!"
Wednesday May 28,
2003
Tags #extortion magazine, #more ad space, #week old spit, #half page ad
Transcript
Carol hands The Boss a magazine and says, "Our products got reviewed in the new issue of 'Extortion Magazine.'" The Boss reads, "If they had bought more ad space in this magazine, we would not compare their products to week-old spit." Carol says, "It's better than last month." The Boss responds, "I'll bet we can get to 'day-old' with another half-page ad."
Tuesday July 01,
2003
Tags #great leader, #read books, #inspired leaders for centuries, #first pyramids, #12 year old pharoah, #look naughty
Transcript
Dogbert is standing next to a stack of books on The Boss' desk. He says, "If you want to be a great leader, read the books that have inspired leaders for centuries." Dogbert holds up a book and says, "For example, the first pyramids were built after a twelve-year-old pharaoh read this book." The Boss reads the title, "Things That Look Naughty From Miles Away."
Thursday December 04,
2003
Tags #accidentally eat, #apple core, #care values, #customer service, #respect, #stem is loyalty, #teamwork, #apple product
Transcript
The Boss: "This apple will remind us of our CORE values: respect, customer service, and teamwork." Dilbert: "The apple's core is the part you throw away." The Boss: "Not always. Sometimes I accidentally eat it." Dilbert: "Maybe the stem can represent our loyalty to the company."
Thursday January 01,
2004
Tags #office relocation, #procedures, #wrong cubicle, #easily stealable, #move computer, #rules and regulations, #company rules
Transcript
Office relocation. Esok: you are not allowed to move you own computer. It must be left in an easily sealable condition for three days until the movers take it to the wrong cubicle. Then untrained I.T Professionals will shove an ethernet cable and stapler and call it good. Dilbert: get out of my way
Wednesday January 07,
2004
Tags #stolen computer, #boss takes, #employee, #work, #unjust
Transcript
The Boss: It's time to go power shopping. The boss: Nice computer. did you just get it. GAAA!!! The Boss: shopping always puts me in a good mood.
Wednesday February 04,
2004
Tags #new chip, #slower, #claim fastest, #benchmark test, #used old drivers, #wearing a wire, #marketing, #crime, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: "Our new chip is slower than our competition's products." The Boss: "We'll claim we're the fastest. If anyone does benchmark tests, we'll say they used old drivers." Dilbert: "Whenever I talk to you, I feel like I should be wearing a wire." The boss: "Since when is marketing a crime?"