Price Set Comic Strips - Page 17
196 Results for Price Set
View 161 - 170 results for price set comic strips. Discover the best "Price Set" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 13, 2005's comic on:
Asok: "La-la-la-la-la... oops." "I inadvertently erased our entire customer database and all of the backups." "How can I explain this to our pointy-haired boss?" "Grab your laptop and follow me." "It's only a prototype. So whatever you do, don't touch anything." "GAAa!!! YOU ERASED THE CUSTOMER DATABASE!!" "ALL OF THE BACKUPS, TOO, YOU STUPID, STUPID #*@!*!" "I should've stopped before #*@!*!"
Share May 06, 2001's comic on:
The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle with a new employee, The Too Helpful Guy. Dilbert and the Too Helpful Guy shake hands. The Too Helpful Guy asks, "Do you like cheese, Dilbert?" Dilbert answers, "Um...Yes, I guess so." The Boss leaves and Too Helpful Guy continues, "I'll send two truckloads of parmesan cheese to your house!" Dilbert replies, "Thanks...But I don't need that much cheese." Too Helpful Guy replies, "Message Received!" He continues, "I'll send you some bread and a fondue set too." The Too Helpful Guy holds out two slips of paper and Dilbert stares at them. The Too Helpful Guy says, "Here are two tickets to the World-O-Cheese exhibit in Wisconsin." The Too Helpful Guy continues, saying, "Your new nickname will be 'Cheeseboy' to reflect your weird obsession." Wally enters the cubicle and says to Too Helpful Guy, "Hi. I'm Wally." Too Helpful Guy holds out his hand and asks, "Wally, do you like leather products?"
Share April 30, 2013's comic on:
Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers
Share July 07, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Our lawyer sent over a sixty-page contract renewal that I need you to review. Make sure you compare it to the original contract and all six or seven amendments. Dilbert: Are there six or... seven? Boss: No one really knows. Check out our other nine hundred contracts to make sure this one doesn't violate any of those. Keep in mind our five-year strategic plan and all likely changes to tax law. Then get buy-in from the seventeen managers who hate my guts and will take it out on you. By tomorrow. Good leaders set high standards.
Share August 20, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.
Share October 22, 2013's comic on:
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: We're jumping on the fad of giving employees unlimited vacation days. The only gating factor will be the knowledge that taking any time off whatsoever will torpedo your career. Alice: So... now our vacations will be a source of stress? Catbert: Only as much as you want. It's totally up to you.
Share February 09, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: Can you show me how to set up temporary credentials for our web services? Alice: Only if you are prepared for your ritual shaming. Dilbert: Yes, always. Alice: Okay, here it goes. What kind of engineer doesn't know how to set up temporary credentials? Ha ha ha ha! I will tell this story for years! Hey, everyone! Guess what Dilbert doesn't know! That should be enough to poison your well of credibility. Dilbert: This isn't a healthy place. Alice: Then why do I feel so alive?
Share March 09, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Great leaders set high standards and stay out of the way. So... I want you to build a fusion-powered robot that can run faster than the speed of light! While you're doing that, I'll be staying out of your way. You won't see or hear from me. I won't even respond to email. Dilbert: Is there a budget for this impossible project? Boss: Sheesh! Look who needs to be micromanaged! Now I can't go hide. You've ruined my leadership! Boss: It's hard to be a great leader when all of my followers are so needy.
Share April 06, 2014's comic on:
Tags #product failure, #not selling, #buggy, #overriced, #competitors, #misleading ads, #vaguely racist, #product name, #bodily fluids, #death, #ceo reputation, #owls, #super yachy, #pal costume, #medical
Boss: We need to figure out why our new product isn't selling well. Dilbert: It's buggy and overpriced. Wally: OUr competitors sell a far better product at half the price. Asok: Our ads are overtly misleading and vaguely racist. Alice: Our product name reminds people of bodily fluids and death. People hate us because our CEO has an endangered owl shooting range on his super yacht. Boss: Does anyone have an idea to fix all of that? Wally: Maybe. Do you own an owl costume?
Share March 20, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Experts say managers should hire great people and set clear expectations. They don't say what to do when you get the first part wrong, but I'm leaning toward micromanaging. Alice: My employee engagement just went down. Boss: That was never a real thing.