Relations Between The Sexes Comic Strips - Page 17

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174 Results for Relations Between The Sexes

View 161 - 170 results for relations between the sexes comic strips. Discover the best "Relations Between The Sexes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

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Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress, deadline, work load, multitask, compensation, money

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Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

Ideal Customer

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Ideal Customer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags market research, sham, yes-man, demographics

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Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.

Pictures Lie

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Pictures Lie  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags photos, truth, lying, deceit, photoshop, public relations, pr, appearances

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CEO: The public doesn't believe I really helped serve food at the homeless shelter. Dogbert: Tell them pictures don't lie. CEO: Pictures lie all the time. In fact, that's the best way to lie. Dogbert: Keep that insight to yourself. CEO: I have a full head of hair on Tinder.

Can We Borrow An Apron

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Can We Borrow An Apron  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pr, public relations, appearances, homeless, soup kitchen, shelter

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Dogbert: We're here to get a photo of my client serving food to the homeless. Man: We don't need any help. Dogbert: In that case, can we borrow an apron and a spoon? Man: Um... I guess so. Dogbert: And can you wipe some gruel on the apron?

Data Encapsulation

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Data Encapsulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inheritance polymorphism, managing, bullying, data encapsulation

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Dilbert: Do you know the difference between data encapsulation and inheritance polymorphism? The boss: No. Dilbert: Then how can you manage someone who odes? The boss; Do you know the difference between managing and bullying? Dilbert: No. The Boss: Problem solved.

Elbonian Ninjas

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Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags controversy, offense, offensive, threat, murder, ninja, optimism

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Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.

Fine Lines

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Fine Lines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, line, optimism, idiocy, cynicism, realism, will, love, dead, working

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Dilbert: I've noticed there's a fine line between optimism and idiocy. Wally: There's also a fine line between cynicism and realism. Dilbert: I just lost my will to live. Wally: There's a fine line between dead and working.

When Will Ted By Done

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When Will Ted By Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, test, data, ted, working, done, range

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The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.

Bad Analogy Guy Fits In

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Bad Analogy Guy Fits In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, insults, office, office workers, sarcasm

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Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.

Parody Or Real

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Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, sarcasm, technology, boss, business, department, proposal, reality, parody, inversion

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dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now