Sarcasm Comic Strips - Page 17

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270 Results for Sarcasm

View 161 - 170 results for sarcasm comic strips. Discover the best "Sarcasm" comics from Dilbert.com.

All Data Is Wrong

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All Data Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, co-workers, data, Entertainment, experts, guess, horoscope, inaccurate, new study, office workers, pandemic, sarcasm, face mask, covid

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dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.

Dilbert Wants To Write Book

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Dilbert Wants To Write Book   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book, boring, colon, elephant, exercise, interesting, people, sarcasm, speaking, technology, write

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dilbert and dogbert wearing face masks on a walk. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a book. dogbert: can boring people write interesting books? dilbert: maybe i write better than i speak. dogbert: sure, and maybe an elephant lives in my colon.

No Talk About Morale

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 No Talk About Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, morale, talk, engagement, workplace, culture, happy, question, covid, pandemic

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dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.

Reasonable Assumptions

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 Reasonable Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, plan, reasonable, unreasonable, assumptions, job, face mask, sarcasm

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dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.

Humans Making Decisions

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Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags biases, business, data, decision, guessing, human nature, making, primitive, psychology, reason, sarcasm, superstitions, technology, science

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dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.

Boss Using Phone

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Boss Using Phone   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, distraction, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, business, disrespect, hear, face mask

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dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.

Dilbert Can Answer Questons

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 Dilbert Can Answer Questons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answer, business, delegate, face mask, managers & supervisors, meeting, project, question, sarcasm, awkward

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boss: dilbert can answer any of your questions, but i have another meeting. dilbert: not really. i have no involvement in the project. he just told me to follow him to this room. co-worker: well, this is awkward. dilbert: how about i go to the restroom and never come back?

Offer 90 Percent Less

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 Offer 90 Percent Less  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, price, list, stupid, impact, face mask, business

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boss: try offering 90% less than the list price and see if they take it. dilbert: no one reduces their prices by 90% just because you want them to do it. i will look stupid for asking! boss: watch how that doesn't impact me at all.

Authority On Your Opinion

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Authority On Your Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, disagreements, Opinion, sarcasm, change, debate, authority, hallucinating, lying, stupid, gaslight, insult, face mask

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co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.

Applying Math To Guesses

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Applying Math To Guesses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, employment, business, analysis, discount rate, installation, maintenance, project, technology, math, guess, sarcasm, face mask

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boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.