Self Causing Comic Strips - Page 17

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166 Results for Self Causing

View 161 - 166 results for self causing comic strips. Discover the best "Self Causing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Loving Yourself

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Loving Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #philosophy, #self love, #evil, #ignorant, #selfish, #lazy, #love

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boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!

Dilbert Characters

To Do List

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To Do List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #list, #self management, #success, #tasks, #to do list, #Win

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dilbert thinking: i accomplished fifteen tasks on my to-do list today. that leaves only seven hundred tasks, not counting the twenty-three i added today. dilbert to dogbert: i wonder what winning feels like. dogbert: it's great.

No Human Contact

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No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #home, #human, #contact, #self isolation, #quarantine, #coronavirus, #health, #oxytocin, #lonely

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dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.

Quarantine Before Date

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Quarantine Before Date - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #desperation, #dinner, #office workers, #quarantine, #technology, #two weeks

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dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Social Media Poisoning

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Social Media Poisoning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #medical, #doctor, #social media, #poison, #defensive, #angry, #self-control, #weight, #pounds, #shaming, #fat, #over reaction

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dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!

People Enjoy Context

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People Enjoy Context - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #zoom, #customer, #self, #human, #sarcasm, #face mask

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boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.