Time Comic Strips - Page 17
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1000 Results for Time
View 161 - 170 results for time comic strips. Discover the best "Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 21,
2005
Tags charging time, projects, no work, wind, existence of your wind, farting around
Transcript
"Wally, you've been charging your time to several projects, but no one has ever seen you work." "You can't see the wind, either, but surely you don't doubt that it exists." "I've also gotten complaints about the existence of your wind." "I rest my case."
Tuesday March 07,
2006
Tags sit silent, no meaning, meeting, conference room, time is up, something better, no purpose, business
Transcript
There's no purpose for this meeting other than my boss told me to have it. "So let's just sit here silently until our time is up." "Unless you have something better to do." "Not really."
Tuesday March 28,
2006
Tags outsourcing, language, time zone, time, fatigue, confusion
Transcript
"After seeing the Elbonian mp3 player prototype I scheduled a conference call." "Because of the time difference, the call was at 3 AM. I was groggy and they barely speak any English, but I think we got everything worked out." "He was right. It does look better with the speakers."
Saturday June 16,
2007
Tags charge your time, appropriate code, unfunded, time codes, falsify report, no projects funded, meeting, business
Transcript
The Boss: "Remember to charge your time to the appropriate project code." "Unless your project is unfunded, in which case the time codes won't work and you'll need to falsify your time report." Alice: "Are any of our projects funded?" The Boss: "This is the embarrassing part."
Thursday July 19,
2007
Tags employee orientation, no time, exercise, long hours, trans fat, positive note, payroll dedcution, service, save money, dirt, cubicle, burial site, health
Transcript
Employee Orientation Catbert: "This job will leave you with no time for exercise." "You will work long hours and consume trans fats until you are shaped like this." "On a positive note, our payroll deduction service allows you to save money for dirt to turn your cubicle into a burial site."
Sunday December 26,
1999
Tags totally correct, time under budget, give up features, shoebox falloff yarn, yarn is free, open door policy, serious threat, new design
Transcript
Dilbert pokes his head into the boss's office and says: "You were totally correct." Dilbert says to the boss: "We can develop the product on time and under budget." Dilbert says to the boss: "All we have to do is give up some features." Dilbert says to the boss: "For example, the original design called for a scalable wide area network switch..." Dilbert says to the boss while extending his arms: "...with multiprotocol support and full network diagnostics." Dilbert shows a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "The new design calls for a shoebox full of yarn." The boss is looking at the sheet of paper while Dilbert says to him: "So we're in good shape...assuming yarn is free." The boss says to Dilbert: "You're a serious threat to my open door policy."
Friday January 19,
2007
Tags staff meeting, posting, six sigma methods, eliminate gap, waste of time
Transcript
The Boss: Carol, schedule a staff meeting. Carol: What's the topic?" The Boss: I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives. Carol: I'll just say 'Waste of time'.
Friday January 26,
2007
Tags meeting right now, lunch time, 12 hours, misery, envy, dead don't eat lucnch
Transcript
The Boss: Can you come to a meeting right now? Dilbert: No, it's almost lunch time. If I miss lunch, my day will be 12 hours of uninterrupted misery. I will envy the dead. The Boss: That's stupid. The dead don't eat lunch either.
Saturday September 22,
2012
Tags honesty, joking, paperback, spend free time, fan of clutter
Transcript
Coworker: It was a great book. I'll loan you the paperback. Dilbert: Thanks. I love it when other people decide how I'll spend my free time. Coworker: I can't tell when you're kidding. Dilbert: Paperbacks are awesome. I'm a big fan of clutter.
Sunday September 02,
2012
Tags gadgets, mobile (cell) phones, time travel, rumour, apple phone, 20 pixel camera, picture of thoughts, time machine, future, most handsome man, android phone
Transcript
Dilbert: I heard a rumor that Apple's next phone will have a 20-megapixel camera. Topper: That's nothing! I heard you'll be able to hold the phone to your head and take a picture of your thoughts. And even that's nothing. Their next phone will be a time machine! Future Topper: Here I am from the future! I'm the most handsome man in the universe! Topper: So am I! Wally: He makes a good case for buying an Android phone. Both Toppers: I love me more than me. Topper hijack


