Time Division Comic Strips - Page 17
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1000 Results for Time Division
View 161 - 170 results for time division comic strips. Discover the best "Time Division" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 01,
1999
Tags #bans cofee, #cubicles, #distarction, #mess up desks, #alice, #too tsupid, #drink coffee and work, #same time, #ceo, #expenses
Transcript
The boss reads from a piece of paper in a meeting. The boss says, "The new policy from our CEO bans coffee from cubicles." The boss says, "Because he says, "It causes a distraction" and can "mess up desks." Dilbert says, "How did..." Alice says, "Hold it Dilbert." Wally says, "It's Alice's turn." Alice says, "You get the next easy one." Wally says, "Make us proud." Alice says, "Ahem, ahem" Alice says, "How did he become ceo..." Alice stands and says, "...if he's too stupid to drink coffee and work at the same time?" The boss says, "Our CEO also discussed unnecessary expenses." Wally says, to Dilbert, "Lucky!" Dilbert says, "Ahem."
Sunday September 19,
1999
Tags #give his presentation, #irrelevant comparisons, #low budget, #development time, #computers faster, #obvious insights
Transcript
Dilbert stands next to a blank projection screen. He says, "My boss asked me to give his presentation." Dilbert puts a transparency on the overhead projector, saying, "I'll start with his irrelevant comparisons." Dilbert points to the projection, saying, "Our budget is lower than last year...". His co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "When we had completely different projects." Pointing to a projection of a graph, Dilbert continues, "Our average product development time is less...". The co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "Than the average for companies who make different products." Dilbert puts another transparency on the projector, saying, "Let's move on to his list of blindingly obvious insights." Standing next to the projction, Dilbert says, "If it's okay with you, I won't read them aloud." The projection reads, "Computers are getting faster!"
Friday March 04,
2005
Tags #america, #arrogance, #elbonians, #end of time, #fight you, #fix problems, #what we do
Transcript
In Elbonia Wally: "I'm from America and I'm here to fix all of your problems." Elbonians: "Your arrogance is offensive. We will form an armed resistance and right you to the end of time!" Wally: "Um... Why?" Elbonians: "It's just something we do."
Thursday May 05,
2005
Tags #share cubicle, #date you, #incredible time together, #if it didn't work
Transcript
"It's too bad that we share a cubicle. Otherwise I'd date you." "If it didn't work out, we'd have to see each other every day." "...Always reminded of our incredible time together." "Where's the bad?!! Where's the bad?!!"
Monday August 22,
2005
Tags #nonsense, #no questions, #no time
Transcript
The Boss: "Aha! Just the person I need." "Meet with the LDC and make sure the MRT gets URPed when the RFIT gets NERKed to the ORCAT." "If you have any questions, I don't have time for that sort of thing."
Monday August 29,
2005
Tags #discount religin, #tithing 5%, #sin is in, #no time with joiners
Transcript
I decided to start a discount religion. "The tithing would only be 5% and I'd let people sin as much as they wanted." BOOK "The only problem is that I don't want to spend time with anyone who would join that sort of religion."
Friday October 21,
2005
Tags #dinasaur, #body gurad, #carrot stick, #nap time, #dumb dino, #momentary
Transcript
"Bob, my boss might be planning to kill me. Would you be my bodyguard?" "I can't because I'm all busy eating a carrot stick." "How about after you finish it?" "You mean nap time? Be serious!"
Thursday December 01,
2005
Tags #bad mood, #all the time, #showing interest, #not working
Transcript
"So, what's it like to be in a bad mood all of the time?" "Something tells me that showing interest isn't working."
Monday December 05,
2005
Tags #cross charging, #freshly brewed coffee, #tempting pasteries, #time to project, #meeting, #wrong meeting, #mis placed, #business
Transcript
Um...Why are you here? "Originally I was seduced by the smell of your freshly brewed coffee and tempting pastries." "But now I'm all about cross-charging my time to your project."
Saturday December 10,
2005
Tags #sourpuss, #wast of time, #drum, #half full
Transcript
Sourpuss "Whatever you're doing there looks like a complete waste of time." "If you beat your head against the wall, that doesn't make it a drum." "People say the glass is half full. But they don't say of what."