Worst Advice Comic Strips - Page 17

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267 Results for Worst Advice

View 161 - 170 results for worst advice comic strips. Discover the best "Worst Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #death ray, #invention, #evil, #coffee maker, #disservice, #success, #garbage man

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Dilbert says, "My company wants to turn my invention into a death ray. How can I stop them from succeeding?" Garbage man says, "There is one natural force that can stop any form of success. It goes by the name?" Dilbert says, "Wally?" Wally says, "How may I be of disservice?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food

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CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #shut down, #assistant, #ratbert, #human body parts, #recycling bins, #frankenstein

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The Boss says, "We need to shut down our crime scene cleaning division." The Boss says, "Apparently your assistant, Ratbert, has been putting human remains in the recycling bins." Dilbert says, "That's a harmless mistake. What's the worst thing that could happen?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #boss, #employee, #stupid question, #inspire, #angry, #dead body, #business

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The Boss says, "Carol, how can I make you feel more inspired by your work?" Carol says, "I'm an admin, you steaming log. The only thing that would inspire me is finding your corpse floating in my worst enemy's drinking water." The Boss says, "It's just something they make me ask." Carol says, "Can I get back to my meaningless work now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #security consultant, #meeting, #angry, #shake, #ears up, #surprise, #fillings, #dentist, #id badge, #business

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Dogbert the Security Consultant Dogbert says, "Anyone without an I.D. badge is assumed to be an enemy combatant." Dogbert says, "Pounce on the intruder and shake him until his fillings fall out!" Alice says, "How much did we pay for that advice?" Dogbert says, "It's free. I work for the dentist across the street."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #old coworker, #whisper, #secret, #knowledge, #die, #evil smile, #grin, #business

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Boss says, "Old Johannsen has kept his job all of these years because no one else has his critical knowledge." Johannsen says, "Pss pss pss pss psss"B<R>The Boss says, "There's the worst-case scenario right there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #help, #Advice, #work, #fear, #job, #business

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Dilbert says, "In my spare time I came up with an idea for your project." Ted says, "Your idea is so good that it makes all the work I did for the past year a miserable mistake." Dilbert says, "You're welcome." Ted says, "I can't let you leave this cubicle alive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #help, #Advice, #fear, #thinking, #role model

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Dilbert says, "I have no project. Do you need any help with yours?" Asok says, "No. If I finish my project too soon, I might become like you." Dilbert says, "Can you make a different face when you imagine being like me?" Asok says, "I'm trying but I can't."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #business, #plan, #revenue, #excitement, #hair, #money sign

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Vijay, the world's worst venture capitalist Dilbert says, "A hundred million people need this type of service." Dilbert says, "I already built the website and people are signing up." Foop! $ Vijay says, "When we negotiate my equity stake, focus on my poker face and not my optimistic hair." Yeeha!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #unemployment, #depressed, #rudeness, #conversation

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Dogbert says, "What's the worst part about you being unemployed?" Dogbert says, "Is it the risk of starvation, the inability to date, or the feeling of being utterly worthless?" Dilbert says, "So far the worst part is this conversation." Dogbert says, "Wait 'til you hear my tough love speech."