Body On Bumper Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

221 Results for Body On Bumper

View 171 - 180 results for body on bumper comic strips. Discover the best "Body On Bumper" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #afraid, #the boss, #decade, #natural, #body, #rhythms, #employees, #reach, #mental, #low, #best, #avoid, #activity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm afraid your company is being hit by an El Nino Circadian trough." Dogbert continues, "Once a decade, the natural body rhythms of all the employees reach their mental low point at the same time." Dogbert continues, "It's best to avoid any form of mental activity." The Boss yells, "Staff meeting!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #natural, #mental, #peaks, #knowledge, #improve, #performance, #hourly, #temperature, #readings, #identify, #avoid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in a chair across from a man. Dogbert says, "Every person has natural daily rhythms of mental peaks and troughs. We can use this knowledge to improve your performance." Dogbert hands the man a thermometer and continues, "We use hourly body temperature readings to identify and avoid the troughs." As the man leans back in his chair and waves his arms, Dogbert writes, "One o'clock. We have encountered a severe trough. I fear it could be the dreaded 'El Nino' trough."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #doctor, #suck, #doctors, #needles, #practically, #careers, #opportunity, #stapler

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a doctor." Dogbert continues, "People have to suck up to doctors, otherwise they stick big needles into your body for practically no reason at all." Dogbert continues, "A lot of careers don't offer that kind of opportunity." Dilbert replies, "Yeah, it's not the same with a stapler."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #parent, #license, #parents, #old, #system, #parts, #brain, #garbanzo, #developed, #written, #test, #weed, #major, #bozos, #baby, #cries, #boss, #poor, #grades, #tutor, #discipline

View Transcript

Transcript

A man and woman see a sign on a building that says "Parent licenses." The man says, "We'd better check it out." Dogbert sits at a desk. The man asks, "Why do we need a license to become parents?" Dogbert replies, "Something had to be done." Dogbert continues, "Under the old system, all you needed to be a parent was a few body parts and a brain the size of a garbanzo bean." Dogbert reaches into the desk drawer and continues, "So I developed this written test to weed out the major bozos." The woman reads, "If a baby cries, you should: A. Feed it. B. Discipline it. C. Call it 'stupid.'" The man says, "You have to show it who's the boss." The woman reads, "If a child gets poor grades you should: A. Tutor him. B. Discipline him. C. Call him 'stupid.'" The man asks, "What does 'tutor' mean?" The woman reads, "An acceptable nickname for a child is: A. Junior B. Ugly C. Stupid." The man says, "Depends if it's a boy." The man asks Dogbert, "Well? Can we be parents?" Dogbert replies, "No. And you'll have to leave some body parts at the front desk."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #aliens, #abductiving, #probe, #body, #cavities, #implant, #objects, #advanced, #medical, #research, #round, #pellet, #prober, #nose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "We can only speculate why aliens keep abducting people." Dilbert continues, "They often probe people's body cavities. Sometimes they implant small objects. It must be some form of highly advanced medical research." An alien says to another alien, "How about another round of 'Hide the Pellet?'" The other alien holds up an instrument and replies, "Okay. I can use my nose prober."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #detective, #research, #potential, #romantic, #partner, #considering, #dating, #worried, #bill, #ego, #emotional, #depth, #conversations, #cheating, #body, #mind, #normal, #bad, #news

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk under a sign that says, "Detective research on your potential romantic partner." A woman says, "I'm considering dating a man, but I'm worried." Dogbert asks, "What's his name?" The woman answers, "Bill . . . His name is Bill." Dogbert says, "Ahh . . . Bill . . . Yes, I know all about Bill." Dogbert continues, "Bill has a huge ego. All he thinks about is himself." Dogbert continues, "He has no emotional depth and he thinks of your conversations as mere chatter. He wants your body, not your mind." Dogbert continues, "Several times a day, Bill imagines himself with different women." The woman looks upset. The customer says, "Darn. This time I thought I'd found a normal guy." Dogbert says, "I have some really bad news for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #electric, #cattle prod, #employee, #productivity, #zap, #rubber end

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss approaches him thinking, "Let's see if my idea of using an electric cattle prod will boost employee productivity." The Boss gives himself an electric shock. The Boss's clothes are burned and smoke rises from his body. The Boss thinks, "Mental note: hold rubber end."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #rich people, #wealth, #tragedy, #lightning, #flash, #clear day, #meteor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I can't help thinking that my new wealth will lead to tragedy." Dilbert continues, "It seems like rich people always have horrible tragedies." Dogbert asks, "Like what?" There is a flash of lightning. Dilbert's clothes have been burned and his body is charred. Dilbert replies, ". . . Like being struck by lightning on a clear day." Dogbert points to the sky and shouts, "Incoming meteor!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #survive, #plane, #crash, #worcestershire sauce, #whack, #cannabal, #meat, #tenderizer, #wonder, #body

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Dogbert, a captain and several people stand on a snow-covered mountain. Off in the distance is a crashed airplane. A man in a pilot's uniform says, "I've survived several jet crashes this year, so listen to me." The man continues, "The best way to prevent frostbite is to rub Worcestershire sauce on your body and whack yourself repeatedly with a meat tenderizer." As people pour sauce on themselves Dilbert thinks, "I wonder why he had enough of these for everybody?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #engineering, #jogging, #bed, #knot, #alternatives, #innovation, #wisdom, #invent, #rebellious, #olympics, #boy scouts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm going to start jogging again." Dilbert wears a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He leans down to tie his sneakers and thinks, "Why does everybody tie their laces in the same type of knot?" Dilbert thinks, "From an engineering perspective, there are planety of good alternatives to the standard knot." Dilbert thinks, "This is how innovation begins; one man who refuses to accept the conventional wisdom." Dilbert says, "Ha ha! I'll invent my own knot! A rebellious, audacious knot!" Dilbert pulls the shoelaces and shouts, "Like this and this and this! Ha ha ha!!" Dogbert enters the bedroom and sees Dilbert lying on the floor with his laces wrapped around his body. Dogbert says, "Many people wonder why there haven't been more engineers in the Olympics." Dilbert says, "Call the Boy Scouts."