Search Results for "less condescending"
Share March 23, 2007's comic on:
Catbert: Evil director of human resources "I'd like to discuss my career plan." "The plan is that we'll keep you around until we find a starving Elbonian to do your job for less." "In other words, blah, blah, maybe someday you will get a promotion."
Share April 13, 2007's comic on:
"I don't understand why technical writers get paid less than engineers." "If you were capable of understanding that sort of thing, you'd be an engineer." "This took an ugly turn." "And your dress looks like a tube sock with aspirations."
Share April 16, 2007's comic on:
"I spent my entire day planning and scheduling future work, and no time doing work." "Tomorrow I plan to spend the entire day explaining why I didn't have time to do work." "It hurts less if I call it a plan." "What happens if you call it your purpose?"
Share October 30, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meeting with underlings. Apparently, you need regular doses of my controlling gaze to prevent you from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur. Carol: It's working great. So far I feel less lazy about doing the other things you mentioned.
Share December 27, 2012's comic on:
Catbert: I got a report that you've been bullying co-workers. Dilbert: That's dumb. I make friendly suggestions about how people could waste less of my time and it looks like bullying. Catbert: Let's schedule a time to talk more about this. Dilbert: Or-- just a friendly suggestion-- you could not waste my freakin' time.
Share March 22, 2013's comic on:
Carol: management experts say fat readers are viewed less favorably than athletic ones, Thats why I didn't order any donuts for your meeting. The Boss: Or did you just forget to do it? Carol: I can't take you seriously looking like that.
Share July 14, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Where am I? What happened?" Dogbert says, "Someone hit you with a rock." Dogbert says, "The swelling in your prefrontal cortex will make you care less about hurting people, thus making you a natural leader." "Dilbert says, "There's also a bump on the back of my head." Dogbert says, "That's so you don't remember who threw the rocks."
Share November 17, 2008's comic on:
Catbert: I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays. That should lower our employees' self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average. Dilbert: Why do I feel overpaid today?
Share March 20, 2010's comic on:
Coworker says, "Alice, can you check this for technical accuracy?" Alice says, "Nope. Don't have time." Alice says, "And no one else is qualified, so you might as well give up and look for a new job." Coworker says, "That was a bit harsh." Alice says, "You'd be less worthless if you fetched me some coffee."
Share May 07, 2010's comic on:
Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."