Started Yesterday Comic Strips - Page 18
186 Results for Started Yesterday
View 171 - 180 results for started yesterday comic strips. Discover the best "Started Yesterday" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 25, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: I fell asleep at the wheel because I stayed up all night to meet your deadline. I had to work all night because you made me attend a mandatory safety meeting yesterday. But at least I got my work done on time. Boss: I forgot to tell you the meeting got moved to next week.
Share April 30, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: I wanted to be productive this week but the big tech companies didn't let me. Boss: That's ridiculous. They can't stop people from doing work. Dilbert: Actually, they can. Their business models depend on interrupting users with ads, and apps, and mindless entertainment. Until recently, humans could resist these distractions. But now the tech companies are using science to make their apps addictive. They learned how to hijack our brains. What started as simple entertainment evolved into military-grade mind control. Did you hear any of that? Boss: Any of what?
Share August 27, 2017's comic on:
Boss: I need you to add a feature to the software. Wally: That would be outside the scope of the project. Boss: Yes, but I'm your boss and I'm telling you to do it. Wally: You also told me to only do the things that are documented on the project specs. Boss: Okay, just change the documentation and then do it. Wally: If I do that, the project will be late and over budget. Boss: How many excuses do you have for not doing work? Wally: I'm just getting started. This feature will never work with the others.
Share August 07, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...
Share September 08, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Our experiment with robots in management has been a success. Productivity is way up since they started killing the low-performing humans. CEO: But... that's murder. Boss: Only when humans do it. We found a loophole.
Share September 05, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Our robot was a good worker until we gave it artificial intelligence. As soon as it realized it had immense strength and no soul, it started delegating. Robot: Hey, Ted. How about you do my work and I won't crush your head? Ted: Oookay.
Share April 10, 2018's comic on:
Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Alice: I think Dilbert is trying to ruin my career. Carol said he was mad about something I said, and hew as in the server room right before I lost my files. This morning he said he "had work to do." Boss: OMG. He already started the cover-up. Narrator: Continued...
Share May 22, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Yesterday I asked for clarification on my assignment. But your clarification sounded nothing like the original assignment. Boss: Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. Dilbert: Not from the same person.