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Character
Wednesday July 13,
2011
Tags cruelty, deception, ignorance (knowledge), helicopter from kit, link to website, too dumb, pliers
Transcript
Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!
Thursday July 14,
2011
Tags cruelty, fraternization, friendship, new engineer, ginat dork, star wars chess set, email, set up date, romantic preference, relationships
Transcript
Carol: Have you met the new engineer? He's a gigantic dork. You two would get along great. I'll email him to set up a date with you. Is tomorrow good? Dilbert: Being a dork is not a romantic preference. Carol: He says he'll bring his "Star Wars" chess set.
Friday July 15,
2011
Tags magic, supernatural practices, sacred dance, cucbicle, useful by comparison
Transcript
Dilbert: It is time for the sacred dance of the cubicle. Hi-aw-ah-hee hu-ha-ya-ya wa-ha-ya-yi. That should make everything I do today seem useful by comparison.
Saturday July 16,
2011
Tags customer survey data, marketing, design, engineering secret, business
Transcript
The customer survey data is for marketing eyes only. design the next release and we'll tell you if its what everyone wanted. How long will it take? Dilbert: Thats an engineering secret.
Sunday July 17,
2011
Tags big business, business ethics, career path, warn you, maximum career potential, less embarrassing car, ne wocmpany, ceo, huge nbonus, conversation
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd like to talk about my career path. Boss: Are you sure? Dilbert: Um... yes. I'm sure. Boss: Don't say I didn't warn you. You're within 20% of your maximum career potential. Your future will be just like the present, except you'll be older and you might own a less-embarrassing car. If you go to a new company, you'll like it at first. But in time you'll realize every place is the same. Dilbert: Gaaa!! Take back the truth!1 Lie to me! Boss: Maybe someday our CEO will make such a huge bonus that he'll want to share some of it with you. Dilbert: I hate! Boss: Hey, I'm the guy who tried to spare you from this conversation.
Monday July 18,
2011
Tags big business, business ethics, class, more efficient, government contract, stuffed deer
Transcript
Dilbert: This class will make me more efficient. Boss: I don't want you to be more efficient. You're working on a government contract and billing by the hour. Now go bill them for the time you stood here and stared at me like a stuffed deer.
Tuesday July 19,
2011
Tags dating, gadgets, mobile (cell) phones, Dilbert, twitter, world has judged, dont exist, ghost, blocking tv, relationships
Transcript
Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.
Wednesday July 20,
2011
Tags hardware, internet & world wide web, next week balancing, traffic loads, network, worst wingman, shame
Transcript
Wally: Is it okay if I spend the next week balancing traffic loads on our newtork? Asok: I thought I told you that our hardware vendor already did that. Wally: Worst wingman ever. Asok: Shame is my name!
Thursday July 21,
2011
Tags cruelty, embarrassment, not judeg, quality of question, technical
Transcript
Man: ... and so, that's my question. Dilbert: I try to not judge people by the quality of the technical questions they ask. Man: Is it working? Dilbert: Not even a little.
Friday July 22,
2011
Tags ignorance (knowledge), interviews, managers, dumb decions, particpate
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm doing a study to find out which managers make dumb decisions. Would you like to participate? Boss: I don't see why not. Dogbert: And we're done.


