Know Cost Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Know Cost

View 171 - 180 results for know cost comic strips. Discover the best "Know Cost" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #decison, #emailed, #definition, #sarcasm, #internet, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need something called a "decision." You might not know what that word means, so I emailed you a link to its definition. How did people do sarcasm before the internet? Wally: Maybe they didn't need to.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #country, #etiquette & ethics, #meeting, #mens restroom, #sacred, #sacred shrine, #travel, #elbonia, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How was your meeting in Elbonia? Wally: Awesome! Did you know that the most sacred shrine in Elbonia looks exactly like a men's restroom? Boss: No. Wally: Right. So don't blame me for not knowing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #extensive plastic surgery, #face, #gadgets, #information services, #office equipment, #swine, #to log on

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. Dilbert: I know. We've worked together for years. Mordac: And it still sounds awesome when I say it. Anyway, I up-graded our network security to include facial recognition. Your temporary password is this face. You'll need extensive plastic surgery to log on the first time. Dilbert: You've gone too far, Mordac! I will escalate this! Boss: I wish we'd had this conversation a week ago.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #sarcasm, #wise, #wisdom, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "You know what I just realized, Dogbert?" Dilbert continues, "The little hairs on the back of my hand - they never get any longer." Dogbert says, "Before I respond, just give me a moment to bask in the radiance of your wisdom."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book, #office workers, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing. He says to Dilbert, "I'm writing my first business management book, 'Managing in a Bureaucracy.'" Dilbert reads a draft, "You know you're in a bureaucracy when a hundred people who think 'A' get together and compromise on 'B.'" Dilbert asks, "Think anybody will read it?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't matter. The real money is on the lecture circuit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #knowledge, #electronic, #bluff

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in a computer retail store. A boy with long hair says, "Welcome to Electrode Hut. I'm half your age, and I know more about electronics than you ever will. May I help you?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. I would like a half-dozen niad pulse converters and an anza brush." Dilbert asks, "Or am I bluffing?" The clerk wrings his hands and thinks, "This guy is GOOD."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walk, #hallway, #stranger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "It's so awkward to walk past strangers in hallways; you always gotta avoid eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "I know - I'll wait until we're near and then pick up that little piece of fuzz on the carpet there." Dilbert arrives at home with a bandage on his head. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then we both went for the carpet fuzz." Dogbert replies, "Smooth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #friends, #intelligence, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've decided to make some dog friends, but I don't even know what other dogs do when they get together." Dilbert replies, "Well, I suppose they would bark like idiots, run around in circles, and sniff every part of your body." Dogbert says, "I guess 'Scrabble' is out of the question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #doghouse, #pet, #pet peeve, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert crouches in front of the fireplace stoking the fire. Dogbert says, "You know what really gripes my wagger?!" Dogbert continues, "Insensitive humans who say things like 'she's a real dog' or 'he's in the dog house' or 'it's a dog's life.'" Dilbert replies, "Sounds like a pet peeve."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #furniture, #office workers, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says into the telephone, "I'm sorry to bother you at work, Dilbert, but apparently the furniture has become possessed by mischievous spirits." The chair and the hassock have faces and clawed feet. Dogbert says to the chair and hassock, "He wants to know who you guys are." The chair responds, "Upholsterygeist."