Sales Comic Strips - Page 18
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197 Results for Sales
View 171 - 180 results for sales comic strips. Discover the best "Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 10,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), sales personnel, existing system, ignorance us not an option, survey
Transcript
Dilbert: I'll need to know if your device is compatible with our existing system. Salesman: It is 100% compatible with your system. Dilbert: I didn't even tell you what system we have. Salesman: That doesn't matter. Dilbert: It sort of does. Salesman: Not to me. Dilbert: So you don't really know if it will work? Salesman: I'm entitled to my opinion. Dilbert: Ignorance is not an opinion!!! Salesman: Please stay on the line for a brief survey.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday October 08,
2013
Tags engineers, sales personnel, offer discount, chair, runaway
Transcript
Salesman vs. Engineer Dilbert: Can you offer us a discount? Salesman: I had something like that in mind, except instead of giving a discount, I would hit you with a chair and run away. Dilbert: Please don't do that. Salesman: Okay, but I'll have to charge you extra.
Thursday November 14,
2013
Tags alcoholic beverages, executive retreat, executives, lower prices, price war, prices, profit margin, strategy
Transcript
Boss: Our new strategy is to lower our prices to increase sales. Dilbert: So our strategy is to start a price war and drive our profit margin to zero? Boss: It made sense at the executive retreat. Alice: Was alcohol involved?
Monday November 25,
2013
Tags deception, sales personnel, linux, million dollars, pay for upgrade, away for free
Transcript
Dogbert: I'll sell you the rights to use Linux for one million dollars. After the first month, you only need to pay for every upgrade. Boss: It sounds too good to be true. Dogbert: It's not as if I'm giving it away for free.
Wednesday October 01,
2014
Tags drinking, hiring, personality tests, sales, sales personnel, sociopaths, storytelling skills, morgue, selfie, dead guy, super drunk, hired, sales person, new hire, business
Transcript
Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.
Tuesday November 04,
2014
Tags blame, ceos, cnbc, executives, home address, layoffs, new prodcuts, product, quarterly, zero
Transcript
CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?
Saturday February 07,
2015
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work
Tags etiquette & ethics, marketing, robot, robotics, slave, technology, emotionally manipulate, marketing leagl, enslave humans, business
Transcript
Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?
Wednesday November 18,
2015
The Generic Graph
Wednesday December 16,
2015
Nod At Preset Intervals
Tags lying, lie, collusion, nonverbal communication, honest, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business
Transcript
Boss: You don't have to lie to customers, but at least nod your head when our salesperson lies. Dilbert: Can I not at preset intervals and let the salesperson time the lies to my nods? Salesman: I can work with that.

