Take This One Comic Strips - Page 18
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1000 Results for Take This One
View 171 - 180 results for take this one comic strips. Discover the best "Take This One" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 19,
2001
Tags #date, #complain, #all night, #called a loser, #personality, #one thing, #complaint, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert returns home from his date and says to Dogbert, "My date complained about her life all night long!" Dilbert continues, "But I complain about just ONE thing and she calls ME a loser." Dogbert asks, "Did you complain about her personality?" Dilbert replies, "That's ONE thing!"
Monday June 04,
2001
Tags #work ratio, #one in eight, #talking about work, #count as wrok
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand drinking coffee and talking. Wally asks, "What's the ratio of work to gabbing that is still considered 'work'?" Dilbert replies, "I'd have to say one-in-eight, maybe one-in-nine." Wally agrees, "Sounds right." Dilbert pauses and asks, "Does talking about work count as work?" Wally replies, "Well, I'm not enjoying it."
Saturday September 08,
2001
Tags #learn take risks, #quitting company, #someplace better, #understand
Transcript
Alice is sitting at The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "Alice, you have to learn how to take risks." Alice replies, "You mean like quitting this putrid company and going to work someplace better?" The Boss asks Catbert, "Why doesn't anyone understand anything I say?" Catbert responds, "Three o'clock."
Monday October 01,
2001
Tags #cloning the boss, #problem with clone, #dna module, #one half horse
Transcript
Headline: Cloning The Boss. Dilbert is dressed as a doctor, The Boss is lying on an operation bed. Dilbert says, "There's a problem with your clone." Dilbert continues, "Wally spilled soda on the DNA module. Your clone is one- half horse posterior." Dilbert continues, "And one-half that isn't like you."
Wednesday October 17,
2001
Tags #stock market expert, #buy stock, #sell house, #track record, #one week chart, #buy buy
Transcript
Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"
Saturday November 17,
2001
Tags #day off, #move my home, #one hour, #negotiate, #can't use vehicle
Transcript
Asok asks The Boss, "May I have a day off to move my home?" The Boss says, "One hour." Asok replies, "What? Why only one hour?" The Boss says, "I like to negotiate." Asok says, "I guess I can try doing it in one hour." The Boss adds, "And you can't use a vehicle."
Thursday November 29,
2001
Tags #congressional hearings, #airline, #inhumane service, #ratbert
Transcript
Headline: Congressional Hearings. A grim panel sits in front of microphones. One man says, "Your airline is accused of providing inhumane service. How do you respond?" Dogbert replies, "Sometimes I wag and sometimes I hold up my paw and say, 'Bah!'" Ratbert adds, "Bah!" Dogbert turns to the rat and says, "You're not allowed to say Bah. Take it back." Ratbert says quietly, "Hab."
Monday December 17,
2001
Tags #serve food, #homeless on christmas, #extra hungry, #one day, #news crews arrive
Transcript
Tina says to Dilbert, "I'm signing up volunteers to serve food to the homeless on Christmas day." Dilbert responds, "How do you know in advance that they'll be extra hungry on that one day?" Tina responds, "Our P.R. firm makes sure they don't get fed for two days before the news crews arrive."
Friday January 04,
2002
Tags #name the restrooms, #goddesses and morons, #only one, #entered contest
Transcript
The Boss reads aloud, "The winner of our 'Name the Restrooms' contest is Alice..." The Boss continues, "...For her suggestion of 'Goddesses' and 'Morons.'" Alice says to Dilbert and Wally, "You're right; I was the only one who would enter that ridiculous contest."
Monday January 07,
2002
Tags #downsized, #not one of them, #project cancelled, #wonder, #zombie, #offer to walk, #boos, #fired, #let go, #shock
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting in front of The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "Your project is cancelled. You'll be downsized in ninety days." The Boss continues, "Until then, feel free to wander around like a zombie." Dilbert walks past coworkers and thinks to himself, "I walk among them but I am not one of them."