Coffee Shop Comic Strips - Page 18

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View 171 - 180 results for coffee shop comic strips. Discover the best "Coffee Shop" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plant maintenance, #contract, #save money, #adopt plant, #unluckiest plant, #coffee dregs

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"We canceled our plant maintenance contract to save money." "Each employee will adopt a nearby plant and water it." The Unluckiest Plant in the Whole World "Now when I pour my coffee dregs on you, it will look like work!" "Must...run..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plant, #cucbilce, #coffeedregs, #staus reprts, #decaf, #tree

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"Wally, what are you feeding the plant outside your cubicle?" "It's a mulch of coffee dregs and my shredded status reports." "You might want to switch to decaf."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #purpose in life, #despair, #purpose is drinking coffee, #urinal

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"Wally, do you ever wonder about your purpose in life?" "My purpose is to transport huge quantities of coffee from the coffee maker to a urinal." "Suddenly I am filled with despair." "Hey, while you're up..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #hierarchy, #invisible, #managers, #status, #underling, #steering committee, #tall memebers, #senior menagement, #acknowledge exitence

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"Asok, I want you to attend the technology steering committee for me." "But they are all tall members of senior management. They won't even acknowledge my existence." "Phfft." "Hey, Andy, this seat is free. I'll just move my coffee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"And then we'll send the draft for review..." BZZZZZT! "Greetings. I am Wally from the year 2040." "In the future, time travel will be possible but highly unethical." "But it's only unethical if you make the mistake of changing anything from the past." "I was out of coffee so I came here to get a fresh cup. Ah, here we go." "I have to run. Make sure nothing changes because of my visit or it will kill everyone in the future." "Let me be the first to say that this feels awkward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"With your billions of dollars, I don't understand why you live here?" "I don't. I live in an underground city of interconnected palaces. The elevator is in your linen closet." "We billionaires only come topside to take your coffee and your women." "Hola, Dogbert." "Oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert the Lobbyist "For a million dollars I can have the government include your industrial waste in the recommended food pyramid." "For another million I'll have Congress authorize huge tax breaks for soulless, Blackberry-using weasels with coffee breath." "I just want to hug you!" "That's another million."

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Sorry I'm late. I was behind a herd of slow walkers. "I couldn't jog around them at the wide spots because my coffee cup was too full." "It's all part of my can't-do approach to life."

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"What type of meeting decision-making style will we be using today?" "Will it be authoritative, consultative, voting or consensus?" "Shut your coffee hole." "Well played."

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"I'm like the story of the auto mechanic." "A woman has her car towed into the shop. The mechanic opens the hood and takes a look." "After about ten seconds he takes a hammer and taps the engine. It starts right up." "The mechanic says, 'That will be $100, please.'" Zzzzz "The woman says, '$100??? All you did was tap the engine!'" "The mechanic says, 'It's $90 for knowing where to tap and $10 for the tap.'" zzzzz TAP! "20 years ago I wouldn't have known which one of you to tap."