Due Date Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

227 Results for Due Date

View 171 - 180 results for due date comic strips. Discover the best "Due Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinner date, #interesting story, #self aware, #build an army, #killer robots

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "Tell me an interesting story." Dilbert says, "Our spam filter became self-aware and ordered us to build an army of killer robots. My coworker, Alice, punched them all to death." The woman says, "I'm not even in that story."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #perfect, #low entertainment value, #use our phones, #surf the internet, #call it a date, #perfect woman

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: This conversation has a low entertainment value. Let's just use our phones to surf the internet, and call it a date. Dilbert: I don't use the phrase "perfect woman" often... Tina: Shhh

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #costume, #date, #lying, #work clothes, #scapegoat, #depatment, #entire comapny, #men in unifrom

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bragging, #rudeness, #selfishness, #stories, #goat cistume, #donated organs, #hollow torso, #backpack, #zipper, #family of squirrels

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Returns Dilbert says, "I dreamed I was wearing a goat costume." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I donated all of my organs to sick people. Now I use my hollow torso like a backpack." "Dilbert says, "And I tried to go on a date." Topper says, "See my zipper? I took in a family of squirrels!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unemployment, #depressed, #rudeness, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "What's the worst part about you being unemployed?" Dogbert says, "Is it the risk of starvation, the inability to date, or the feeling of being utterly worthless?" Dilbert says, "So far the worst part is this conversation." Dogbert says, "Wait 'til you hear my tough love speech."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #money, #demand, #orders, #rejection

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #useless, #questioning, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to audit the software we have on our systems." Dilbert says, "Why?" The boss says, "So we know what we have." Dilbert says, "Who will use the information?" The boss says, "It's just important to have." DIlbert says, "It will be out of date before I'm even done." The boss says, "Do your best." Dilbert says, "The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up." The boss says, "I hope no one ever comes here to learn our best practices."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #shallow, #ridiculous, #looking, #cell phone, #failure, #leaving, #rejection, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "I judge potential mates by their cell phone apps. Hand it over." Woman says, "You have an app that does nothing but hurl pirate insults. That is so stupid. This date is over." Cell Phone says, "Don't let the door hit you in the booty. Aaaargh!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #side effects, #wings, #flying, #struggling, #ridicule, #criticism, #offended

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My prescription meds have a side effect that made me grow wings." Dilbert says, "But I can turn it sexy by flying you over the city on this moonlit night." Dilbert says, "Seriously, how many appetizers did you have?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #restaurant, #rude, #email, #hitting on, #interrupting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "You've made a number of innacurate statements during the course of this date." Dilbert says, "I don't want to break the romantic mood, so I'll send you an e-mail with links that you can review on your own time." The waiter says, "It sounds like you two are over. WOuld it hurt my tip if I take a run at her?"